As Sir Walter Scott (1771-1832), poet and novelist once wrote…
“Grey towers of Durham
Yet well I love thy mixed and massive piles…”
As a student of construction, I would hazard a guess that Sir Walter was referring to the massive foundations of the Cathedral and Castle – or was he? It may be he was discussing the relative merits of carpets in the bishopric of Durham or perhaps the cut of the grass in the proximity of the University and Cathedral. More later……
The annual visit to Maiden Castle to play Durham University Staff is always a popular fixture against a good side that generally play the game in a Mallardian spirit. Despite the threat of rain and a heavy mid-afternoon shower, the game was played on “Pitch 1” as opposed to the all weather pitch on the Pelaw Woods side of the river – the pile of pitch No.1 being much more appropriate than the more Spartan conditions caused by adjacent football and rugby pitches – a veritable Axminster as opposed to Nouveau Connections carpet tiles. Good job that the groundsman had taken a flyer……
With SkipStig late due to work commitments, vice-captain Steel won the toss and after consultation with senior pros selected to field first. Browne and McGuinness opened the attack with the latter receiving some severe punishment from openers Swift and English. However, McGuinness did make the first breakthrough having Swift caught at point by Butcher. The run rate was of IPL proportions with Durham being 31 for 1 off 4.
Cox replaced McGuiness and Watson latterly replaced Browne. However, the run rate was maintained at a high level with regular boundary fours being made by English (who retired at 32no) and Smith (run out for 29 with calm assurance by Scott – McGrathesque in style). The first ball of McGuinness’ 2nd spell accounted for Powell, bowled for 8 thus achieving the notable feat of being the only Mallards bowler to take a wicket on the night.
Despite good spells from Cox, Watson and Wisbach, the run flow could not be stemmed with regular fours being hit despite the longish boundaries by Hopkins (22no) and Everett (19no). At one point Watson even tried to stop the ball with his head – see above. The pile of the outfield certainly favoured the forceful Durham batters – the ball running smoothly over the well-manicured sword / Axminster.
The age old Mallardian curse was once more in evidence with several dropped catches – some of which could be placed in the ‘dolly’ category and some in the ‘mission impossible’ genre. McGuiness had his feet in both camps off the bowling of the unlucky Wisbach including a full length two handed dive on the boundary which probably saved a maximum – catch it next time Dave please or cop a fine for showing off!
The final score of 134 for 3 off 20 overs seemed somewhat of a challenge to the Mallards batting line-up, particularly as the weather had closed in to make conditions rather dark and dismal. Mysteriously, the ‘senior pros’ acting as consultants at the toss had somewhat disappeared at this point as the decision to field was politely questioned. Note to committee – please can we have night vision specs for the kit bag…
Steel and Kent opened the batting with opening bowler Everett exploiting the poor light by bowling quick and short thus conceding only 14 from his three overs. Costello captured the wicket of Steel in a miserly spell – Mallards being fatally well behind the required rate – at 16 for 1 after 4. Kent did his best to raise the rate, almost poleaxing Steel with a stunning straight drive.
Boothroyd and Cleaver (yes, that Cleaver) took up the attack and maintained a very well-directed and disciplined approach. Cox had been promoted in the order but perished to Boothroyd for 6 while Kent continued to attempt to force the pace at the other end, eventually retiring at 30.
Wood and Butcher than embarked on a good partnership and both made a valiant attempt to raise the rate of progress. Many significant blows were made but no boundaries were achieved – for example in one spell of 22 deliveries, 10 x 2s were run and no fours (or sixes of course). Running between the wickets was heroic, but certainly not good for team health. Note to committee – please can we have an iron lung for the kit bag…
The Durham team showed that they have a highly competent bowling attack – all six bowlers hit their lines and lengths very consistently – the final two bowlers provided the denouement with Moore producing a fine spell of 1 for 12 from 4 overs and Metcalfe (as ever) picking up wickets as Mallards thrashed out to try to make defeat less ignominious (3 for 10 from 3 overs). Wood, Butcher, Tayler and Scott perished in the final overs. Scott’s innings was adorned with a high class cover drive (was it Michael Vaughan in disguise?) which was the only boundary achieved after the retirement of Kent. Final score was 84 for 6.
And here we have the nub of the problem, why could Mallards not hit the boundary like Durham Staff? There was plenty of well-timed hitting? Is it the physical prowess of the team? There is an alternative possibility…. It’s down to the pile of the outfield. Durham staff MUST have a switch which changes the outfield from Axminster to Nouveau Connections carpet tiles. Thus, Sir Walter Scott may have been referring to a game of cricket he had observed and the Sands at Durham. The piles are the different outfields Durham staff play on and they vary them between innings. I want one of those switches for my lawn…
So, a heavy defeat for Mallards by 50 runs. The reason for the defeat was obvious (other than Durham having a much more resourceful team this year with some good new players) as Durham staff hit 19 boundaries whilst Mallards struck only THREE! A closer match was possible if not for the “mixed and massive piles” (Scott, Sir Walter).
And so, to finish with Sir Walter – to complete his quotation which reads “with records stored of deeds long since forgot”, Mallards have been known to reach 150 from 20 overs on the all-weather pitch – perhaps we need to play there more often? ****ocks to the Axminster….