Whoever said ‘it’s not the winning it’s the taking part’ had clearly never been eligible for a Mallards end-of-season award.

Each year, at the annual dinner, awards are handed out to a host of players who have contributed to the season in a memorable way.  For the record ‘memorable’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘impressive’ or ‘skillful.’

These awards, mostly hand-crafted miniature works of art, are much prized and keenly fought over. The current holders are as follows:

Cross Bat Trophy: Dave Cox, no idea why, because he scores too many runs and scores them too quickly – very un-Mallardian

Mallard Ball: Ian “The Flashing Blade” Stone, because after all these years he can bowl and take wickets, plus he makes most of us look like old crocs in the field

Swoop Fielding Trophy: Mark “Stig” Butcher, apparently Stig did something athletic in the field last season

Mallard Duck: Gareth “Despot” Taylor, a complete travesty, 5 candidates but apparently I had the highest games played to ducks scored ratio

Friendly Fire Trophy: Rob Wilson, for taking 2 wickets and scoring some runs while turning out for his first choice {on the night} team

Pen Is Mightier Than the Bat Award: Stu Green, for his truly inspired account of the Benwell & Walbottle game in June

Mutilated Mallard Trophy: Colin McCaffery, a complete shoe-in for sustaining an injury in just about every game he played last season – but still managing to turn the following week – a true hero

The Leon Mexter Gentleman Mallard Award: Simon Holland, goes without saying that this gentleman has been long overdue being a recipient of this award

The Jon Robinson Balletic Batting Award: Mark “Stig” Butcher, for some reason my hastily scribbled notes from the night are undecipherable