At the end of every season the club despot, Gareth Taylor, used to wander off with the scorebook, lock himself into a room and try to make some sense of the random doodling that had been carried out by those who failed to hide in the toilet when we were looking for scorers. Sometimes he just made it up – see everything up to 2016. Then he realised that it was driving him ever so slightly insane so he delegated it to the skipper. You can see what he produced at the end of the 2017 season below. Believe it if you want. If you do you’re probably the type of person who sends money to that nice Nigerian man who keeps sending you e-mails.