Age: His first schoolboy crush was Gracie Fields and he can remember queuing round the block for his ha’penny Saturday Matinee ticket just to see her latest release.

Specialism: Giving wicket-keepers diving practice with his left-arm swing-bowling which starts on middle, swings to leg and keeps on going. And going. And going. He can also recall the “good old days” with astounding clarity.

Profile: Far and away the longest serving and still active member of Mallards, the only remaining founding father and an ex-team captain to boot. After 40 years he has finally remodelled his 15-pace, almost stop, shuffle, two more paces bowling action by deleting the first bit. Nowadays he divides his time between the north-east of England and Montreal, the latter enabling him to develop his ice-cricket skills, where his left-arm swing bowling starts on middle, swings to leg and keeps… (see above for further details).

Favourite colour: Maple Leaf Red

Nickname: The Flashing Blade (though following a police caution he would now prefer to be known as just ‘The Blade)