The true spirit of the game – and the return of the Beacock!

25 devotees turned out keen to celebrate the near end of the season and the knife-edge final contest for the John Robinson trophy

All sorts turned up – because they “were passing” – “deleted before they had pressed send” or just because it wasn’t raining.

Thank goodness Alan Boyes had stood Higgs and Boson down for the night,  as it was it we agreed a 12 a side game – with Browne as the 25^th sulking at what he called “the study corner”.

Jon would have been deeply impressed by the occasion, which was even marked by a beautiful rainbow (see above)

Beacock was back off his hols (again) prompting much discussion of his poor batting over the season and his performance behind the stumps relative to one M S Dohni. Hands up those who didn’t see Simon Hughes riveting analysis of the implications of Dhoni’s immobility and unwillingess to dive upon the placing and spacing of the Indian slip cordon – of which more anon.

With every chance of the light going Wood lost the toss and the Mallards unsurprisingly found themselves invited to field. In true Mallardian spirit the response was to spread the bowling around and make sure everyone got a good game – and spread around the bowling was – 10 of the 11 outfielders got to turn their arms for at least one over – with no-one bowling more than 3 overs – and with, frankly surprisingly good overall results.

Ok – so Genetics lost their first wicket with the score at 85 and with Bennett long since back in the pavilion retired not out – but this was in the 16^th over !

The Mallards opened with McGuiness and Wisbach against Bennett and Scott. After a tight first over McGuinness ‘s line was picked up by Bennett in the second and a  4 and 6 followed as did the retirement of the bowler. At the other end Wisbach bowled tightly and wonderfully economically finishing his 3 overs for just 9 runs.

Dunhill and Haylock followed both bowling tightly and containing without seriously threatening the now well-set batsmen – Dunhill’s 3 overs going for 12 and Haylock’s 2 for 8.

Bennett’s retirement had brought Tarbuck to the crease and the scoring picked up again.

With Cox tying down one end (3 overs for 6) Taylor came on at the other and over two overs took a bit of a battering  (29) – not daunted by this Taylor responded by taking the first wicket – not with his bowling at 3 stumps but with a stunning piece of fielding at mid-off to hit one stump and run out Scott for 25.

Partnered by Heslop, Tarbuck plundered the Mallards bowling to reach a retirement 32 off 14 balls finishing with a six “just because he felt like it!” Two overs from Nitsch for 16 and one from Butcher for 12 providing the raw material.

With two overs to go the score stood at 112 for 1-  the sky was about to fall in – and it did – but on the Genetics side. A snorting over from McCaffery brought 2 wickets for 3  – one bowled – the other caught by Cox – and the final over from Captain Wood brought another bowled wicket for only two runs and the bonus of a comical run out of Buckley for 2.

A distinctly chaseable closing total of 117 for 5

Kent and Nitsch opened the reply spectacularly against Taylor (Brian – no relation to our own despot) and Airey – two singles were the precursor to a 6 and two fours from Nitsch for Mallards to finish the first over on 16. Sadly that was as good as it got – apart from an 11 run flourish with Beacock and Taylor in the 16^th the runs slowed or even stopped with a maiden in the 10^th and one run overs in the3rd, 5^th, 8^th and 14^th – our boys certainly know how to keep the pressure on and chase the game.

All might have been different had Nitsch, after his cracking start not felt an on-rush of generosity to bowler Taylor (Brian again) and fielder Jordan – who celebrated his 69^th birthday by hanging on to a ball driven straight at him at mid-on. (Suddenly “Old Col” feels like a young buck again)

McCaffery followed next ball – run out without scoring.

20 for 2 at the end of the third over progressed to 37 for 2 at the end of the 7^th then again a pair of wickets lost in an over to Mitcheson’s bowling with Kent holing for 11 out to the ever reliable Tarbuck and Butcher slicing over his head to loop up to wicketkeeper Greenwood first ball.

Genetics followed the Mallards example in mixing up and spreading around their bowling – again using 10 of their 11 outfielders

The fifth wicket down came down in the 10^th over with the score on 45 with Wood falling for 12 to a looped up catch behind the stumps by Greenwood off Mitcheson who finished a 3 over spell with a wicket maiden and figures of 3 overs 1 maiden 3wickets for 5 runs.

The sixth down sealed the Mallards fate – Cox had just got going, had reached a rapid 9 and was beginning to lift the rate when McCaffery (having just replaced Dunhill as umpire at the one tree end) gave the assembled crowd a wonderful reminder of the much missed Tony “the trigger” Cleaver by raising his finger to an LBW shout on a full ball from van Doorn which, in the muttered words of the departing batsman was “going way down the leg side!” [perhaps now slightly mollified by the 52-20 hammering theKiwis just gave the Aussies in the rugby – Ed.]

This generosity of spirit was continued with McGuinness being given out LBW by Nitsch only for Greenwood in the spirit of the wicketkeepers’ union to say “you hit that didn’t you?” – “yes” — Not out. All of this perhaps a sign of how difficult it was to see anything in the by now near total darkness!

McGuinness’s wicket wasn’t long spared though – bowled by van Doorn for 4 – leaving it to (G) Taylor and Beacock to begin to rescue some pride. Taylor eventually went for 11 stumped by Greenwood off Bennett. Beacock perished on 18 bowled by Tarbuck in his only over.

With Wisbach caught by Bennett off Reay for 7 in the last over a single from Haylock allowed Dunhill to face his first and the last ball of the game. Umpire Nitsch offered him the light to allow him to protect his average – or perhaps because he was concerned that we might not be able to find the pavilion in the dark.

Dunhill survived the one ball at the Mallards closed on 99 for 10 (note: not 99 all out as 12 players)

A grand evening played in great spirit with all the match fees and the proceeds of a domino card in the post match Wellington (with generous chips and Yorkshire puds all round) going to the generator fund – a total contribution approaching £150 on a night which amply demonstrated the need for the generator – and questions about the floodlights it might power too !

Jon Rob was amply toasted – and the trophy left to reside with Genetics for the winter

We want it back ! We will be back sharper and stronger – and older next year !!!

Oh and the “is Beakers better than Dohni?” question.

Just consider the figures. He top scored – Mallards collectively bowled 7 wides – Beakers conceded 1 bye – and his mobility allowed us to spread the slip cordon much wider than India – to third man, deep square leg,  deep extra cover etc.

I rest my case.

A combination of the Riding Mill weather dome and the sterling work of groundsman/catering manager Pete Nitsch meant that Mallards game against the Wallace Arms somehow survived the aftermath of Hurricane Bertha.

As is their normal m.o. the Wallace Arms turned up in dribs and drabs, eventually culminating in nine or ten players depending on who was counting.  With 13 Mallards in attendance Messrs Lucas and McChlery stepped forward to play for the opposition, perhaps having seen them looking impressive in the warm-ups!

After a short sharp shower delayed the start Skipper Wood again won the toss and with the opposition only boasting seven men generously put them into bat.

Regular openers Browne and Dunhill led the attack again and began well against a strong opening pair, the former proving frugal and the latter again desperately unlucky as a series of leading edges either dropped short of fielders or were just plain dropped. Kent spilled an early chance in the covers despite his confident call and Browne also put down a chance after making up a lot of ground and seeming to take the catch in the gully region before it somehow popped out again.

Despite the missed chances Mallards were managing to keep a tight-ish rein on the young openers and after eight overs the opposition were 39-0. McGuinness and Haylock took over those reins and started well but after their opening overs the visitors began to cut loose, 13 runs coming from the former’s second over and 18 from the latter’s, including two consecutive big sixes from retiring opener Wallace, who had somewhat fortunately survived most of the missed chances. The sudden surge of runs meant that the score had accelerated to a hefty-looking 83-0 from 12 overs.

Unfortunately things were to get worse before they got better as the retirement of the two openers had brought Bell to the crease and the batsman, remembered for clearing the A69 with one shot in the game at Haltwhistle, started with a huge straight six and despite the introduction of Cox and Nitsch continued in that vein in his short and sweet innings. Three more huge straight sixes swiftly followed before Mallards finally struck, Nitsch finding the edge of the big-hitters bat, stand-in keeper Wood taking the catch to leave the scoreboard showing 127-1 after 16 overs.

The removal of Bell allowed Cox to join the party and after having a huge lbw shout turned down he removed Hampshire and one of the many Swallows in quick succession, both comprehensively bowled.

McGuinness returned at the pavilion end but the procession of talented batsmen continued as Charteries and yet another Swallow kept the 10-an-over run rate flowing until the bitter end – though the former was fortunate to survive a direct-hit run-out from Kent, the umpire perhaps distracted by the desperate batsman wiping out wicket-keeper Wood with a flying helmet-led dive. After 20 overs Mallards were left facing a challenging 164-3 target.

Kent and Steele led the charge for the home side and got things off to a flyer with 21 coming from the first three overs, Steele in particular again looking in fine form, despite a mean hangover.

The first breakthrough came in the sixth over, Kent well caught at mid-on for 8 bringing the ever-enthusiastic McCaffery to the fray (pictured searching in vain for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow). His loud approach and  frantic running induced a brief sense of panic in the young outfielders and some useful overthrows kept the home team in the hunt as they raced to 50-1 from 8 overs before a sharp stumping saw umpire Dunhill send him off to the pavilion for 8, chuntering all the way despite his protests receiving little support from the equally-dismissive pavilion umpires.

Scutt joined Steele at the crease and almost immediately crashed a fine straight drive for four. Steele then added another two fours to the total to retire on 32 and bring the in-form Cox to the crease at the halfway stage with Mallards sitting on a decent 63-2, amazingly 11 runs ahead of the Wallace Arms score at the same stage, though to refresh your memories the visitors then added 112 runs in their final 10 overs.

Cox began well with an early boundary but the young visitors were now hitting their stride and a succession of wickets fell at the other end. With remarkable consistency Scutt, Nitsch and then McGuinness all hit one boundary and a single before perishing for 5 and at the end of the 14^th over the score had reached 91-5 (suddenly 18 runs behind the opposition’s position!)

Wood now joined Cox and with the latter hitting two big sixes the score climbed to 107-5 after 16 overs before his second six took him over the retirement score of 30 for the third time in four innings.

Haylock joined Wood at the crease but with the opposition’s opening bowlers returning to the fray he found it hard to get the ball away and the scoring slowed with a couple of freak injuries slowing things further. Firstly Wood was hit on the ankle by a leg-stump yorker (umpire Nitsch desperate to raise his lbw finger but thwarted by the lack of an appeal) and then two balls later a full-length ball took off and caught Haylock on the jaw.

In an eventful final over, an un-nerved Haylock was caught at mid-off for 3 and a heavily-limping Wood retired hurt for 10 as Browne and Dunhill came in belatedly and the innings ended on 124-6.

The Wellington saw an excellent turn out of 12 Mallards (the exempted McGuinness heading off to Cumbria) and a sprinkling of Wallace Arms lads (most of them wouldn’t get served!) as the teams feasted on the ususal roast potatoes and the unusual deep-fried Broccoli (or Broccoli Tempura as the more-middle class lads know it).

Tuesday 5^th August was a momentous day in the history of these two great cricketing fraternities.  For the first time, we had a game abandoned due to heavy rain, the day before it started raining.  Such a bold decision to make, get it right and those responsible are rightly applauded, get it wrong and it’s Nasser Hussain at the Gabba in 2002 all over again.

The heavens opened on Wednesday, clearing the way for brilliant sunshine on Thursday, the new date for the first Old Firm clash of the season, with the prestigious Jon Robinson trophy up for grabs.

All (most) were at the ground on time to ensure a 6pm start, and captains Greenwood and Taylor strode out to the middle for the all important toss.  Taylor called it correctly for Mallards, and decided to bat first.  After the Lord’s pitch against India, it seems groundsmen up and down the country are now following in Mick Hunt’s (Lords head groundsman, and it’s definitely not Mike Hunt, definitely not) footsteps and preparing green pitches.  This one not quite as green as pure green, more of a mint green I’d say.  But still green.  Green.

Kent and Boyes opened for Mallards, with 1/3 of the three Taylors opening the bowling, Dan Taylor.  Kent was into his stride straight away, with two powerful boundaries and a couple of singles as well bringing 10 runs of the first over.  Scott reduced the damage a bit by bowling a maiden, and Taylor’s second over only went for a few singles and a no-ball. Scott’s second over not quite as good as the first, with Kent again finding the boundaries to take 10 off this over.  Captain Greenwood had decided to use 10 bowlers, with two overs each, so next up came Andy Jeffrey and Mike Gardner.  Andy only going for a single from his first over of ‘spin’ and Mike slightly unlucky to go for 7 runs from some good length bowling.  After 6 overs this brought the score to 38, with Kent now retired having made his 30 in double quick time.  Jeffrey managed to pick up the game’s first wicket, bowling Alan Boyes for 8, finishing with figures of 2-0-6-1, and Gardner bowled an excellent 2^nd over, only going for a single.

Jordan and Scutt were the new men in, and sadly for Scutt, he was on his way back to the pavilion, run out without facing a ball.  After Gardner and Jeffrey finished their spells, Mallards had got to 44-2 after 8 overs.  Newcomer Andy McChlery was brought on to to bowl next, and the age old rule of taking pace off the ball worked a treat, Tony Jordan playing one behind square on the leg side, only to pick out Mitcheson who took a good catch, and a first Genetics wicket for McChlery.  We also welcomed back Gary Van Dorn into the team, and he hit a great line and length right from the start, bowling now to the dangerous Dickinson, who had been joined at the crease by Nitsch.  Gary managed to strike in his second over, removing Nitsch LBW for 3.

This brought in Dave Cox,  Mallards now had in their most lethal partnership, so Greenwood turned to an established bowler, and a part time bowler, with Mitcheson and Bennett stepping up for their spells.  Bennett’s first over of ‘pace’ was decent, only 4 off it, and Mitcheson bowled well in his first, but Dickinson and Cox still managed to put on 9 from the over.  Bennett’s second was to be his ‘spin’, going for 11, and a single boundary from Mitchesons second meant that Mallards had now gone to 90-4 after 16 overs.

The last two bowlers of the innings were to be Andy Goulding and Brian Taylor (rapidly running out of WD40 to put onto his knees after a long stint in the field).  Goulding found his first over tough, going for 7, but started to get back his control as the over ended.  Taylor struck with the 4^th ball of his over, Cox playing an attacking stroke but getting a thick edge to Dan Taylor who took the catch.

The wicket of Cox brought Andy Dunhill to the crease, wearing a pair of pads that I can only assume he borrowed from Peter Crouch, these gargantuan pads reaching up to his hips, it was quite a sight. Goulding then pinned the Mallards down with a double wicket maiden, bowling both McGuiness and Perera, and with only a couple of wides from Taylor in the last, this meant that the Mallards innings closed on 104-7.

Before detailing the Genetics innings, I would like you all to read the following:

“Sledging is a term used in cricket to describe the practice whereby some players seek to gain an advantage by insulting or verbally intimidating the opposing player. The purpose is to try to weaken the opponent’s concentration, thereby causing him to make mistakes or underperform. It can be effective because the batsman stands within hearing range of the bowler and certain close fielders; and vice-versa. The insults may be direct or feature in conversations among fielders designed to be overheard.

There is debate in the cricketing world as to whether this constitutes poor sportsmanship or good-humoured banter.[1] Sledging is often mistaken for abuse, and whilst comments aimed as sledges do sometimes cross the line into personal abuse, this is not usually the case. Sledging is usually simply an often humorous, sometimes insulting attempt at distraction. Former Australian captain Steve Waugh referred to the practice as ‘mental disintegration’.”

All will become clear….

Genetics openers were to be Goulding and Brian Taylor, a lofty promotion for Brian, who wasted no time in getting his pads on….actually he wasted quite a lot of time, and the prospect of moonlit cricket became a real possibility.  Mallards were to open with Dunhill and Perera, who kept the first few overs really tight, Taylor displaying some beautiful forward defensive strokes and some swings of the bat without scoring, out of the blue, some sledging began, certainly not what was expected in a friendly game.

Goulding managed to strike the first boundary of the innings, and with Taylor’s 11^th ball faced, he managed to quieten the sledgers for a short while with his first boundary.  Dunhill bowled with his usual control, and Perera was unlucky to have a massive LBW appeal against Taylor turned down.  The fact that Taylor hit the ball with the face of the bat mattered not to his sledgers, who were up with hands raised, with a ferocious appeal, not out said umpire Jeffrey.  Perera finished his spell, going for 14 runs, as Taylor and Goulding continued to stick in.  Cox and McGuiness were the new bowling partnership, with Cox starting with a maiden, and McGuiness striking with his first ball, removing Goulding for 8, caught by Scutt.

With the big-hitting Goulding gone, Taylor was joined at the crease by McChlery, still finding his feet in this game, he would have been sat waiting to be bat wondering what an earth was going on, would he receive the same treatment as Taylor?  Taylor, now (always has been really) the senior batsman, it was up to him to start to build some pressure on Mallards, and start to put some runs on the board, the boundary I mentioned a while back was to be his only one, as his runs arrived in singles and two’s.  McChlery stuck in well, but perished when Cox bowled him for 2, Greenwood now coming out to reassure his fellow batsman that the sledging would soon end, and to help his team build some runs.

The sledging ended, and Riding Mill fell quiet again, as Cox bowled Taylor for 14, 14 off 38 balls, a strike rate of 36.  The sledging now needs to be clarified, it was purely from his Genetics teammates sat on the boundary.  Mallards didn’t need to say anything, as they heckled, jeered, and ironically applauded every delivery he faced.  We were also the ones who appealed so vehemently for his LBW dismissal, all good natured banter as the earlier definition of sledging says it is, and Brian took it well, Jon Rob would have been laughing his head off.

Greenwood and new batsman Van Dorn did manage to start accelerating the run rate, as we got up to the 5 an over needed, and managed to stay there, Greenwood in particular playing his usual array of cuts and drives to race to his 30 and retirement.  Mitcheson joined Van Dorn, and the scoreboard continued to tick over, with neither Nitsch or Taylor able to stop the singles, despite bowling some good stuff.   The singles were fine, but boundaries had dried up, meaning that although Genetics were up with the run rate, as we entered the last two overs, it was 12 runs from 12 balls needed.

Dunhill returned to complete his spell with his 4^th over, and only went for 4 runs, but a couple of byes meant that 6 runs from the last were needed for victory.  Dave Cox it was to bowl it, a two from Van Dorn, a bye, and then two from Mitcheson meant that with 3 balls left, only 1 run was now needed, which Van Dorn dabbed into the off-side and the game was over.

It’s always great when a game goes down to the last over, and even better when it’s played in such a great spirit, with every player on both teams involved in the game.

No game at Riding Mill is complete without a trip to the Wellington, with a full crowd gathering around the roast potatoes, Yorkshire puds and gravy.

Of course, this fixture will never be just another fixture for as long as these two teams play each other.  Jon Rob would have loved every minute of this game, and we raised our glasses to our much missed eccentric, and enjoyed a great laugh after the game.

All of the match subs were used to help the fundraising for Riding Mill’s quest to install a generator, we’re sure JR would have approved [in fact we raised a total of £123 on the night, thanks to the obligatory domino card. Jon would definitely have approved of this method of fund raising – Ed.]

The anticipation is already building for the next fixture, thanks to all for a great game of cricket.

Man of the Match: Brian Taylor

We’ve reached the halfway point in the summer, and must now be approaching a new record for the least amount of games called off due to rain, long may it continue.

 On a bright and slightly breezy evening, the Mallards XI, with seven (S E V E N) victories to their name this season already, made the journey along the A69 to Clara Vale, always a popular destination, which may or may not have something to do with the selection of beer on offer at The Boat House post game.  Perhaps this year’s fixture was even more highly anticipated due to new benches being installed at said pub…..it’s the small things in life…

Ovingham won the toss, and on the greenest of all green pitches, and probably the greenest thing ever seen since Percy created ‘pure green’ on a classic Blackadder episode, they decided to bat first.  Had the decision been the other way, captain Stig was erring on the side of bowling first, so no complaints.

After a lengthy discussion about which end to start from, opener Browne eventually settled for bowling ‘down-the-hill’, and it was game on, with Ovingham opener Derrick taking strike.

A tidy dot ball to start, then Derrick decided to have a go early on, playing across the line and whilst hitting the ball hard, it went high  with Dave Cox in chase and he took an excellent catch.  A wicket with the second ball, perhaps another new record?

Scott (pictured) opened the bowling at the other end, and found a nice line and length from the start, only going for two singles from his first over.  Browne was bowling well, but without reward, a nick down to 3^rd man found the boundary, and a very rare “3” is noted in the scorebook. I actually can’t remember the last time I saw anyone run a 3 in our midweek games, the records just keep tumbling.

The new batsman Bowey took a bit of a shine to Browne, hitting 3 boundaries in an over, before Tom regained control and bowled the last two overs of his spell for just 5 runs.  Of course, with this being Mallards, if one bowler regains control, the bowler at the other end will inevitably lose his, and true to form, Scott could no longer land a single delivery on the pitch, some wides, but mainly either full tosses or too full, resulting in his figures going from 2-0-5-0 to 4-0-26-1.  He did however pick up the wicket of Chamberlain, thanks to some sharp wicket keeping from the returning Porteous to have the batsman stumped.  After the two opening bowlers had finished their spell, this left the score on 50-2.

Frasier Haylock was first change bowler, with Bowey nearing retirement and new batsman Pratik both in good touch, a tidy first few overs though, with only 10 coming off them, he was supported at the other end by Cox, who went for 7 in his first over.  This resulted in the retirement of Bowey, and Cox then picked up the wicket of Colin Burt in his second over, bowled for 11.  Haylock’s third over didn’t quite go to plan, with Pratik swinging the bat to launch 15 runs of the over, 87-3 after 13 overs.

Taylor replaced Haylock, and batsmen Marley and Drake kept the scoreboard ticking over with singles, as Mallards fielded well to restrict the boundaries, Browne and Scutt in particular with some diving saves to save some runs.  Cox finished his excellent spell with figures of 4-0-17-1.

With Gareth bowling well, and only going for singles down to fine leg, Perera took the role of death bowler, and bowled two superb overs, getting the ball to turn and bounce of the pitch, only going for four runs from his two overs.  The innings came to a close with Mallards having restricted Ovingham to 114-3.  This was respectable and they left the field confidently, some Mallards were overheard saying “we should knock this off, no problem” – You guys really should know better.

Andy Porteous and Steve Kent were to open for Mallards, with the low evening sun poking through the clouds, and the Ovingham openers were Chamberlain and Derrick, yes, that’s the same Chamberlain and Derrick that opened the batting, but more on that later.  As you would expect from opening bowlers, they were pretty good, both spinners, and kept our openers stuck in the crease, with boundaries almost impossible to find.  Derrick struck with the first ball of his over, bowling Porteous for 1, and started with a wicket maiden.  New batsman Nitsch joined Kent at the crease, and batted with intent, but was unlucky to find fielders with some well-timed shots.  Nitsch perished however in Derricks 2^nd over, looking to attack but the ball nipped back off the surface and struck the off stump.  After 6 overs, the score was 12-2, oh dear.

Kent began to find the boundary with some lusty and powerful blows, and Scutt got off the mark with a two, and later launched a 4 back down the ground, all the while though the required run rate was creeping up and up, 10 an over needed.

After the two opening batsmen & bowlers finished their spells, the 3^rd bowler was Bowey, who coincidently also batted at 3.  He again started with a wicket maiden, bowling Scutt for 7, and the 4^th bowler was Pratik, do I need to tell you where he was in the batting order? I’ll give you a clue, lower down the order than 3, but higher than 5.  Both bowlers continued to keep the pressure on, with very few deliveries that either batsman could have a go at.   Bowey eventually collected the wicket of Kent for a hard earned 17, who had been going for every ball at this point, he had no choice really.  Cox was by now managing to get into his groove, hitting a 6 and a 4 in consecutive deliveries, as the new bowlers came on….

Marley and Drake were next, Marley, being the number 6 batsman and Drake 7.  The only reason why the number 5 batsman didn’t bowl was because that was Colin Burt, the Ovingham wicket keeper.  Cox was able to keep his scoring up, and just about kept Mallards in the game, we could have done without the 30 and retire rule here, as he brought up his 30 with a single and a 2.  Browne was the new batsman, capable of big hits, as anyone who at RGS last summer will testify.  He didn’t disappoint, 6 and 4 from his first two balls, with another 4 the next over.  17 overs gone and the score was 80-4.

Perera, who had come to crease after Scutt was bowled for 7, was stumped off the bowling of Marley, trying desperately to be as attacking as possible, and from there it was sadly a lost cause.  Gareth being caught by Chamberlain for 0.  Scott and Haylock were last men standing, with 23 needed of the final over.  The innings closed with Mallards 92-4.

A decent effort by all concerned though, we certainly never gave up and it was a good game of cricket.  Slightly spoiled though in the opinion of your match reporter by Ovingham’s decision to have their batting line up also match their bowling line up, this resulted in a few of their players not getting to bat or bowl.  I guess that shows why playing for Mallards is so much fun, sure we might not win every week, and are famous for our batting collapses, but no game I have played in has ended with a Mallards player not playing some part in the match, either with bat or ball.  We like to win of course, but more importantly we like to play cricket, as I’m sure some the young Ovingham lads would have liked to have done also.

Naturally, our spirits were raised with a trip to The Boast House.  We also managed to raise the team cholesterol levels to what Stuart Broad would call the “Red-Zone” by washing down a selection of crisps and various flavours of pork scratchings with some real ale, the perfect diet at 9:00pm.

Mallards faced their second game in a week with an almost completely changed side with only Skipper Wood and McGuinness keeping their places against an undermanned Davipart side who having won the toss and chosen to field then changed their mind as they only had five players at the ground!

Late replacement Mitcheson and club despot Taylor opened the bowling for the home side with the latter getting off to a very dodgy start with a succession of wides and boundaries seeing 16 come from his first over.

Fortunately Mitcheson was bowling beautifully from his end so the damage was slightly limited and Taylor eventually found a measure of control and almost a wicket, his opening bowling partner spilling a catch at short third man.

After eight overs, however, the visitors had raced on to a very healthy 59-0 with Mitcheson finishing with 0-11 from four overs and Taylor 0-39.

McGuinness and Perera took over the bowling reins with the latter hitting his rhythm quickly to unsettle the well-established openers, Haygarth and Sandhu, before they both retired with Davipart on 88-0 from 12 overs.

Mallards were slowly pulling themselves back into the game however, with Perera pinning the new batsmen down and the home side finally grabbed their first wicket when he bowled Harwood for 4 in his third over and completed his four overs with fine figures of 1-20, McGuinness ending his spell with 0-26.

The visitors had now reached 114-1 from 16 overs and with Rawley looking in ominous form it was clearly time for the home side to bring out the big guns so Butcher and Nitsch came into the attack.

Butcher immediately mesmerised the batsmen with his pace (lack of), seeing keeper Buckley narrowly miss a stumping chance before taking a catch behind off the very next ball.

Unfortunately Rawley took a shine to Nitsch’s first over, hitting three boundaries to retire on 32 but Butcher managed to tie down the new batsman Thomson before inducing him to hit a lofted chip to Perera who took a good catch – much to the chagrin of the other Mallards fielders as this brought back the previously retired and very dangerous Haygarth for the last over.

With Butcher finishing with 2-5 from his two overs Nitsch had to raise his game, which he did, restricting Haygarth to singles and twos before his final ball was hit straight down the ground towards Taylor, who couldn’t decide whether to try and take the catch or stop the boundary, sadly he did neither, his second  misfield of the night resulting in a final four and a daunting total of 141-3 for the visitors.

With Davipart still undermanned Mallards loaned them a couple of fielders, prospective Mallards debutant Chris Lucas and A N Other (Mitcheson, then Wood, then Dickinson) supplementing the visitors.

The in-form opening partnership of Steel and Wood got things underway but after the former had clubbed 7 runs from four balls the latter inexplicably walked across his stumps and was bowled round his legs by Thompson for 0 to bring Dickinson into bat rather earlier than hoped for.

Steel seemed to take the loss of his opening partner as a personal affront and continued his one-man attack on the bowlers, taking 11 from Hamza’s first over and then clubbing Thomson for two fours and a six to retire on 32 in just 15 balls in the third over. At this point the only other contribution was a no ball as Mallards(!) raced to 33-1.

New batsman Buckley joined Dickinson at the crease and, with Mallards well ahead of the required run rate, tried to settle things down at a more sedate pace, though even this proved difficult as some sloppy wicket-keeping saw the ball race through for four byes three times in one over and the scoreboard raced on to 63-1 from just seven overs.

Dickinson’s patience finally ran out in the next over as he drove straight to mid-on to depart for 8, Hall joining Buckley at the crease. The latter, however, was beginning to pick up the tempo and unleashed a succession of leg-side boundaries, one of which nearly demolished the scoreboard and at the half-way stage Mallards were sitting pretty on a mighty 85-2.

Buckley completed a splendid 30 and retired shortly after, with Butcher joining Hall who after getting off the mark with a boundary had been steadily accumulating singles to keep things ticking over nicely.

Butcher immediately clubbed a four straight down the ground but, with the scoring slowing down a little was bowled by Rawley as he tried to pick up the pace to leave the home side on 106-3 from 14 overs with 36 required for victory at a run a ball.

Nitsch joined Hall at the crease and the pair steadily accumulated runs to move on to 117 from 16 with 25 needed from the last four overs.

To stem the tide, opening bowler Thompson returned to the fray and immediately bowled Hall for a solid 17 to bring Taylor to the wicket, hoping to steer the team to victory to compensate for his less than glorious fielding display.

By this time Nitsch had settled in and, after Taylor got off the mark with a single, he swiped two successive boundaries to the leg-side boundary to take Mallards within 13 runs of victory with three overs remaining.

The return of the visitors other opening bowler was then greeted with a huge six as Nitsch all-but sealed the win, with the two batsmen cleverly picking up five more runs from the remainder of the over, the only scare coming when Lucas narrowly failed to hold on to the one chance offered as Nitsch’s thick-edge looped towards him at third man.

With two overs left the home side now only needed two to win from 12 balls and with Nitsch taking a single from the first ball of the next over it was left to villain-turned-hero Taylor to steer the ship home, which he calmly did, via his pad, a leg-bye sealing a seventh win of the season by six wickets with ten balls to spare, Nitsch finishing on an excellent 24 not out.

With the away side failing to make the pub a happy Mallards team enjoyed more than their fair share of roasties and gravy as they toasted victory in the traditional fashion in the beautifully sunny Wellington beer garden.

Mallards took the long trip out to Haltwhistle to face new opponents, the Wallace Arms, on another lovely sunny evening.

The home team’s youthfulness and consequently casual approach to time-keeping meant that they only had six or seven players at the ground by 6 o’clock so Mallards agreed to field first to give the youngsters time to get a few more numbers.

Regular opening bowlers Browne and Dunhill began brightly with only five runs coming from the first three overs, the former unlucky to see an outside edge slip from the grasp of the diving Beacock. Slowly, however, the home openers, the appropriately named Wallace and Grommit, sorry, Graham, began to hit their stride and after five overs had reached 26-0. Mallards fielding had been impressive up to this point with Haylock very nearly running-out Wallace with a direct hit. The only blot came when Cox dropped a steepling catch in the covers but in his defence the sun was making life difficult for fielders and he may have been distracted by the use of a bright pink ball.

Despite the batsmen’s growing prowess Browne and Dunhill finished their spells with the very respectable figures of 0-21 and 0-20 respectively as Hunt and Haylock took over the attack with Mallards still looking for their first wicket. Haylock’s first over disappeared for a couple of boundaries but Hunt, after conceding six from his initial over finally struck for the visitors, bowling Wallace in his second over, a wicket-maiden. With Haylock finding his range and Hunt bowling very tightly indeed the visitors were still keeping a lid on the scoring and after 14 overs the home side were in a decent but far from overwhelming position on 84-1 with Graham retiring on 33.

Hunt finished off an excellent spell of 1-10 from his four overs but Haylock’s last over took a bit of a battering with new batsman Parker hitting two fours and a six as the bowler finished with 0-36 from his four overs.

New bowlers McGuinness and Hayward were brought on to stem the tide but the former’s first over saw the faster scoring continue as the batsmen went for their shots, two more boundaries bringing the score up to 114-1 from 17 overs. Hayward’s introduction however, proved inspired as, with Parker retiring, he clean-bowled new batsman Nicholson for 0.

McGuinness joined in the fun in his second over, clean-bowling Swallow for 13 to finish with 1-15 from his two overs to set the scene for a dramatic final over.

Firstly Hayward struck again, bowling Thompson for 3.  He then removed the incoming batsman Charteris, belying his age by swooping to collect the ball and run the batsman out with a direct hit. Incoming batsman Bell, however seemed to take umbrage at this late fall of wickets and crashed his first ball for four before ending the game by hitting Hayward’s final delivery for a giant six which cleared not only the very high fence but the A69 to complete the innings with the home side on 134-5.

Kent and Wood led the Mallards reply but they began in stuttering fashion as Kent was bowled in the second over and the Wallace Arms bowlers found a very tight line to make scoring difficult, just seven runs coming from the first four overs.

New batsman Cox finally released the shackles with a huge six in the fifth over and then both batsmen found the boundary in the next over to get the scoreboard moving as they accelerated to 27-1 from six overs.

A switch in bowlers, however, tightened things up even further as spinners Charteris and Bell came on, with only 11 runs coming from the next four overs, just one boundary from Cox breaking up a succession of dot balls and a smattering of singles to leave Mallards well behind the scoring rate on 38-1 at the half-way stage.

The scoring rate then began to improve as Cox started to find the boundary and a four and a two in the 13^th over brought up the pair’s 50 partnership and Cox’s retirement on 32.

Bowling hero Hayward joined Wood at the crease as eight further runs were added before Wood, forgetting his partner’s age, called Hayward through for a quick single, a direct hit sending the latter back to the pavilion for 3. Still clearly shaken with remorse Wood was then clean-bowled next ball for a sluggish 14 to leave Mallards in trouble at 63-3 from 15 overs.

Victory now looked highly unlikely but new batsmen McGuinness and Beacock remained positive, with the former hitting some very nice straight drives and the latter rediscovering some form to keep the score moving along to 80 from 19 overs before another dramatic last over.

Firstly McGuinness was well caught for 12 attempting another big hit before Beacock was clean-bowled for 6 to bring new batsmen Jordan and Browne to the crease, the latter having to drop the scorebook and quickly pad-up to join the fray and face a hat-trick ball.

Undaunted by his sudden moment in the spotlight Browne smashed the hat-trick ball for four before a single brought Jordan to face his first ball. As the visitors realised that next man due in, Dunhill, was still umpiring, fingers were firmly crossed that the new batsman survived the penultimate ball. Not only did Jordan survive it, he clipped it beautifully off his legs for another boundary before taking a single off the last ball to bring the innings to a close on a respectable if insufficient 91-5.

Both teams then headed to the Bowes Hotel in Bardon Mill where the home team established themselves on our fixture list for years to come by providing every player (except the veggies) with a plate of sausage, chips and onion gravy. Happy Days!