And now the end is near and so we face the final over…

The first Saturday in September saw the final curtain on the Mallards season – the annual (weather dependent) end-of-season cricket festival.

This year the weather gods were benevolent and despite overnight rain the pitch, outfield and barbecue grills were good to go for a lunchtime start. An excellent turn-out saw a magnificent 23 players make an eventual appearance with further contributions from non-playing combatants, McCaffery, Page, and rather belatedly Brown.

Captains Wood and Taylor chose their respective teams, the Drakes and the Ducks, with the latter quite clearly Genetically modified. A two-innings 20-over match was agreed with a maximum of two overs per bowler and the batting line-up being reversed in the second innings, though Taylor latterly came up with his own version which seemed designed purely to keep Hunt away from a bat.

Wood won the toss and chose to bat, a risky choice as it gave his team first crack at the very fulsome beer chest. In an eventful first innings there were several highlights, not least of which was the rarely-spotted Scutt golden ball, which brought an immediate end to Haylock’s first appearance as an opening bat, an early blow compensated for by opening partner Scott’s unbeaten 27, though he may have been helped by the co-opting of spectator Butcher into the bowling attack – I bet Shane Warne never had to bowl in a pair of brogues on a slippery pitch!

The long-awaited return of the Mexter with an impressive 16 kept things ticking over nicely with only McChlery’s duck halting a solid middle-order showing with both Cox and Buckley also retiring on 25 and 26 respectively. Taylor then struck the first blow in the battle of the captain, a series of leg-side wides cleverly bamboozling his opposite number into a desperate slash as the first innings closed on a very reasonable 141-5.

The Drakes first innings began in frantic fashion, with an early six from Scutt and a flurry of 4s from Kent before Ducks opening bowler Mitcheson struck back by removing both batsmen as the score reached 38-2 in just four overs.

Further progress was a little more serene as Hall and Tenniswood both retired on 27 and 25 respectively, an advance only interrupted by Burt’ s early demise, Mexter’s fine throw from the deep running him out by a distance,  and after 12 overs the Drakes were nicely poised on 97-3.

Miserly two-over spells by Wood (0-5) Cox (0-6) and, in particular, Nitsch (2-6) brought Ducks back strongly into the game but just as it looked as if they might secure a first innings lead they were hit by Hurricane Heslop, whose very rapid 26 included two sixes and a four to take the Drakes to a very useful 148-6,  a first-innings lead of 7 runs.

A short beer break was then taken before Ducks were setting off again, Ramshaw and Mitcheson getting them off to a flyer as 32 were added from the first four overs before Mitcheson was finally removed by Kent, a surprisingly fine catch from Hunt, for a rapid 17.

Boyes joined Ramshaw and the excellent run rate continued to mount with the pair taking the score to 60 in just the 7th over before the latter retired for a splendid 25.  Wood joined Boyes at the crease, keeping up the momentum with some frantic running as the score raced on to 82 from 9 before Scutt’s golden first ball struck again, removing Wood for 12.

Drakes now seemed to have settled into a nine-an-over rhythm as both Buckley and Cox joined in the fun before perishing for 20 and 18 respectively, a momentum continued by Nitsch and Mexter, though the latter may have been fortunate to survive an early lbw shout from Heslop before crashing three fours and a six to cement his impressive return to the fray.

With Heslop finally removing Nitsch for 12, his second wicket putting him right in the frame for the man-of-the-match award, the Drakes innings finally came to a halt on a mighty 176-6, leaving Ducks requiring 170 for victory at precisely 8.5 runs per over

After yet another beer break the final innings commenced with Captain Taylor leading from the front, ably assisted by Gardner, the pair continuing their unbeaten stand from the end of the first innings.

They started brightly, with both batsmen finding the boundary, and despite some tight bowling from Mexter, just about kept up with the required run rate, reaching 46 without loss after just six over.

However, the retirement of both openers for 25 saw the runs start to dry up a little with Scutt failing to trouble the scorers, and with Scott, Nitsch and Wood all bowling tightly only 25 runs came from the next five overs to leave the Ducks on 71-1 from 11, the required run rate having gone up to a tricky 11 an over.

With Kent and Hall at the crease such a target wasn’t out of the question and the pair began to pick up the pace hitting 28 from the next three overs before Kent perished, Cox’s stumping given McChlery his first wicket in Mallards’ colours.

This brought the dangerous Tenniswood to the crease but after being hit for an enormous six, bowler Boyes struck back immediately, a second stumping for Cox removing the batsman for 8.

Burt had joined Hall at the crease as the match reached its denouement with the Ducks needing 47 to win from the final four overs from Mitcheson and Ramshaw.

Mitcheson struck first, removing the dangerous Hall for 23 and this success was followed up by his partner-in-crime, Ramshaw conceding just three runs from his first over to leave Taylor’s men forlornly looking at a target of 40 from the final two overs.

The end was nigh and with Mitcheson bowling another tight over it was left to Ramshaw to seal the victory in style, removing both Beacock and Jordan in the final over to leave Ducks adrift on 138-6, a 31-run victory for Drakes.

The victors celebrated gracefully with their equally gracious opponents after a match which had seen some surprisingly good cricket (given the alcohol intake), the perfect precursor to the main event: the food! A splendid barbecue completed the evening (special mention to Mr Cox’s rather wonderful home-made sausages) and the season’s celebrations were completed by the man-of-the-match award. This was a fiercely competitive field due to eight different batsmen reaching retirement figures and 12 bowlers taking wickets but ultimately Ramshaw’s second innings efforts of 25 not out and 2-7 at the death won him the much sought-after bottle of Prosecco.

Thanks to the many people who contributed to the day’s success, far too many to mention but you know who you are. Roll on next year!

Mallard completed their season with a late addition to the fixture list against Ovingham at Riding Mill, their 21st game of the least weather-affected season in living memory.

Despite the best intentions to start early and beat the fading light, the late arrival of several things, kit, players, vice-captains etc. meant that the game didn’t get underway until nearly six, hastening an early plea for night-vision goggles to be added to the kitbag. It was thus agreed to play a reduced 18-over game, with a maximum of three overs per bowler.

Ovingham won the toss and chose to bat and Mallards began with the extremely mature attack of Dunhill and Haylock. The former has had a strange season, despite bowling his usual economical spells, wickets have been few and far between and coming into the game he hadn’t taken a wicket for Mallards since 26/6 – going wicketless for 7 matches, 27 overs and 164 balls. For those of you who like happy endings, don’t hold your breath.

As usual Dunhill began tightly with only two runs coming from his first over but the young Ovingham opener Chamberlain took an immediately liking to Haylock’s bowling, crashing a four and a huge six (the first of many lost balls of the evening) from his first over, so disconcerting the bowler that he unusually added a sprinkling of wides to the over and saw 15 runs come from it.

With Chamberlain looking ominous and the visitors skipper Marley playing a nice supporting role the score mounted swiftly, 37 coming from the first four overs before Mallards made their first breakthrough, a poorly-judged attempt at a quick single saw Wood’s pick up and throw and Beacock’s solid take and swift removal of the bails run out the unfortunate Chamberlain by a distance.

Another Ovingham veteran, Burt, joined Marley at the wicket and after the two opening spells the visitors had reached 50-1 with Haylock taking 0-32 and Dunhill 0-12 from their three overs – bringing Dunhill’s dry spell to 8 matches, 30 overs and 182 balls.

Heslop and Scott took over the bowling and after some narrow escapes, with edges regularly flying into gaps, Scott struck by bowling Marley for a solid 26, the first of may indications that the bounce was getting a little tricky.

Unfortunately this brought Beedle to the crease and he flexed his muscles with two fours and a six from Heslop’s second over, the start of a run blitz as Scott then saw 19 come from his second over as Burt also joined the party with a pair of boundaries.  With Heslop’s next over also taking a battering from Beedle (who retired on a rapid 30) and the incoming batsmen Pratik, who had the biggest bat seen in many a long day, 47 runs were added in three overs before Scott responded well, having Burt comfortably caught by Steele for 20 in his final over.

Despite the wicket, with 12 overs gone Mallards were really under the cosh as the visitors reached a massive 124-3, Heslop finishing with 0-37 and Scott 2-33.

Cox and Wood were next into the firing line and the former immediately tightened things up. Well not immediately, his first ball was glided through gully for four, but almost immediately, only two singles coming from the other five.  Wood, however, disappeared for 13 from his first as the total mounted to 143 from 14 and Pratik thankfully retired on 31.

Fortunately, the bowlers then managed to exercise some form of control with just ten runs coming from the next two overs and another wicket falling, the Wood/Beacock partnership again bearing fruit as the latter took a fine catch from a thin edge to see the back of Tate for 6.

With the runs drying up (comparatively!) Ovingham completed their innings on 168-4 with Cox finishing with 0-19 and Wood 1-24.

Mallards began their reply with in-form batsmen Steele and Scott leading the chase, requiring around 9.3 runs an over for victory.  The latter began in imperious fashion with a splendid clip off the legs from Hall (Jnr)  for four immediately followed with a slightly finer leg glance for another four and after one over the chase was on – 9-0.

Sadly, the second over saw the openers dreams of a classic run chase slightly dented as Steele was clean-bowled by Chamberlain for 1 (yes, that was the same Chamberlain who opened the bowling – sadly the Mallards formula isn’t always followed by our rivals) and the third over saw those dreams crushed as Scott mistimed a pull to loop a catch to mid-wicket for 9 and Cox, after being dropped at slip, hit a crisp drive straight to cover for 1.  Three overs down and Mallards were in trouble at 15-3 with the required run-rate now over 10 an over.

Fortunately, the newly-minted middle-order partnership of Scutt and Wood managed to stop the rot – and most of the scoring  – the former’s crisp straight drive breaking a long run of dot balls to bring the Mallards score to a meagre 23-3 at the end of the opening bowlers spell of six overs.

Sadly, hope of a respite from the second-string bowlers wasn’t forthcoming as the spinner Pratik and the wily Hall (Senior) took over the bowling and tightened things up further in the rapidly fading light.

Still Scutt and Wood refused to be tempted into a stroke as three runs were thrashed from the next two overs before Scutt’s patience snapped and he sneaked a four from Pratik. Unfortunately, such reckless abandonment proved his undoing as he attempted to repeat the feat and was caught and bowled for 11 to bring Butcher to the crease with the score on 30-4 from 9, only 139 required from the last 9 overs at 15.44 an over!

Despite this daunting target the batsmen still refused to take the bait with both Wood and Butcher continuing to block resolutely, a policy that was clearly shown to be sound when Wood’s first attempt at a scoring shot was comfortably pouched at mid-wicket and he disappeared for a lengthy 3 with the score now on 40-5 from 12 and victory looking a tad unlikely.

Remarkably, Wood’s demise saw the scoring rate slow even further as new bowler Tate mesmerised Mallards’ late-order batsmen, removing first Jordan, caught behind for 1 and, in his next over, Beacock, caught at point from his first attacking shot for 1.

Butcher, who had manfully  followed his captain’s example with some masterful non-stroke play, finally perished in the following over for 4 before Tate completed his spell with a wicket maiden, bowling Heslop for four to end with 3-2  from his three overs. Special mention should however be made of Heslop’s four runs, a crisp cover drive that seemed out of place in such an innings – it was like seeing the Mona Lisa in a Byker Working Man’s Club.

With Heslop’s demise Mallards slim hopes of a memorable win had finally disappeared and Haylock joined Dunhill determined to keep their wickets in tact to claim a moral if pyrrhic (look it up phillistines) victory and they succeeded admirably, Dunhill yet again unveiling his classic forward defensive shot to block out another maiden – the sixth of 18 – as Mallards completed their innings on 50-9, the narrowest of defeats, a mere 118 runs. To add to his strange statistical season, Dunhill has now gone two seasons without losing his wicket, adding 7 not outs and a mighty 3 runs to last season’s unbeaten tally.

Another splendid finish to the evening was enjoyed at the Wellington where the familiar sight of the organiser of the domino card winning the money (Stig) was topped by said winnings being added to the generator fund – let there be light!

The last of the season’s official fixtures for 2014 saw Mallards take on new (but long established) opposition on a cool but bright late summer (or early autumn?) evening. With the light set to go early, winning the toss would be vital, and, for once, vice-captain Butcher correctly called the spinning 10p coin and elected to bat. This may have been because KSOB still only had 8 of their team at the club-house on time and he could loan a couple of Mallards players to help out with the fielding.

With both Steel and Kent injured, it was a new-look opening pair of Nitsch and Buckley that took to the middle. Both players opened their account in identical fashion by blocking 3 then smacking the 4^th ball for 4.  After a slow couple of overs the openers however started to find some momentum with a succession of 4s and quick singles. By the 9^th over it was time for Buckley to retire on a very credible and greater than run-a-ball 32 bringing McCaffery to the crease, who immediately got off to his usual bustling start.

However it was clear that left-arm bowlerBridge was getting a few balls to bounce off a length and hitting the bat high on the splice. With the score on 72 The Cat received one of them causing him to jar his shoulder and retire hurt on a quickfire 11 with his first injury of the evening. Scutt, in at 4, perished, in what is becoming his speciality of being run-out, for a one-ball 1 due to a combination of slow back-up and losing the will to make ground about 2/3 of the way down the wicket. The first genuine Mallards wicket falling at 72 in the 11^th over.

Next in was the big-hitting Cox who provided a perfect foil to Nitsch, reduced by this point to hitting singles, with some lusty hits. A couple of big overs, partly thanks to several no-ball fours hit off young Willet, saw the Mallards score romp along to 106 off 15 overs. The 9^th and 10^th overs being particularly notable for yielding 28 runs between them and the batsmen benefitting from several lapses in the field that saw singles converted to 4s.

At one point it looked like Nitsch would bat through the innings, however his vigil finally came to an end in the 16^th over after at last finding the middle of his bat to get to retirement with a big 6 and a score of 32 not out to help his average. Vice captain Butcher strode out to the crease happy to play second fiddle to Cox, a plan that seemed to be working until it went off the rails in the final over with Cox caught at the deep mid-wicket boundary. With 3 balls to go, Jordan (who would normally have expected to be batting far earlier in the innings) struggled to get the big hit in, finally extracting a single off the last ball of the innings in over 18 to set a highly credible 130 for 2 as the target to beat.

Confident that the total set was eminently defendable – especially with the light set to fade quickly as the sun disappeared behind Broomhaugh House, a buoyant Mallards took to the field. This optimism was quickly deflated as openers Lattimer and Coyne, also obviously sharing similar reservations about the deteriorating quality of the light, set about the run chase with un-seeming haste. Openers Browne and Scott both proceeded to take a pounding through a combination of wayward, and not-so-wayward, deliveries taking a clattering. This was aided and abetted by some fielding that was at times almost as bad as KSOB’s, although to be fair the ball tended to be travelling at a more rapid pace.

By the end of the 6^th over the KSOB score was 80 (EIGHTY) for no wicket and Wisbach had replaced a highly self-disgruntled Scott (0 for 28) . McCaffery then sustained his second injury of the evening, pulling his left calf muscle while attempting to compensate for his already dodgy right shoulder. Not wishing to be the subject of even greater opprobrium from Skipper and Webmaster Wood [as long as he doesn’t umpire again he’s fine – Webmaster], he manfully insisted on remaining on the field – albeit with the same effectiveness that a tree planted at mid-wicket might have. (Sadly, as seen above, he did actually take root there but at least he’s in position for the next game.)

Desperate to stem the tide of runs and conscious that the light was not great, Butcher replaced the errant Browne (0 for 37 off 3) with Cox from the far lighter one tree end.  While this had some effect, with the score rate dropping to just over 7 an over it was clear that the King’s School lads had clear ideas about getting to the pub while there was still some light left. Cox, while regularly beating the bat, and seeing some fine keeping from Buckley (whose 16 byes belied what was actually a good performance behind the stumps) was unlucky to finish with figures of 0 for 22 off his 4 overs. Wisbach, getting some good turn from the Broomhaugh end was finally rewarded with a wicket – after Taylor took an agonising amount of time to decide that a decent leg-break that pitched and hit batsman Bridge on his leg-stump would have indeed hit off stump.

A consolation wicket, but at the end of the 13^th over the scores were level. Needing a change of bowler Butcher suddenly realised that Haylock had not had much of a game. With a hearty “come on lads 6 maidens is all we need” Haylock ambled in and duly saw his first ball hit straight back for 4 and the game over with 29 balls to spare.

The final reckoning, 31 overs bowled, 264 runs scored and just 3 wickets to fall. Simple fact was that King’s School had some very good batsmen and used them to great advantage. A few questions from Kings about how to turn the lights on ensured some welcome participation in the domino card at the Wellington, where Yorkshire puddings and chips were washed down with a pint of beer or 2.

With a definite feel of autumn about it’s almost the end of another season for Mallards. The final reckoning? Well that’ll be a reason for attending the annual dinner in January …