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Tony Cleaver

Age:   We’re checking the Domesday Book to confirm this

Specialisms:   Opening Bowler, Fielding with his shins

Profile: Tony was the team’s main strike bowler until in desperation to escape he decamped to Colombia in search of a higher grade form of entertainment, if you know what I mean (don’t publish this until our lawyers have checked it!) Rumour has it he will be returning for a handful of games this summer so watch this space. Hopefully he won’t be repeating his famous dance routine from the legendary Majorca tour – see above

Favourite Colour: White

Nickname: The Axeman

MCC V Durham Staff 17 July @ Riding Mill

Match Reporter: Trevor Wood

Another lovely summer evening saw Mallards coming up against an unfamiliar-looking Durham staff team for the first time this season.

Mallards batted first to enable three of the opposition team to head off early to break their Ramadan fast, perhaps an early indication that the visitors were a bit hungrier than the clearly well-fed home team?

Another new opening partnership of Steele and Hayward began the fight and got things off to a very rapid start off some pretty erratic bowling with 25 coming from the first three overs. The run-rate continued to fly along in the fourth though it also saw the first wicket full, Steele slightly unfortunate to pick out the square leg fielder with a full-blooded pull, the first of several decent catches by the visitors.

Cox joined Hayward at the crease and showed his intentions with a four from his first ball as the rate continued to mount rapidly, with the Kiwi hitting 15 from his first four balls and Mallards reaching an impressive 62-1 from just seven overs. Hayward, who had seen little of the strike after a quick start, perished in the next over, bowled by Metcalf for 15, but the scoring rate continued to rise with Nitsch smashing his first ball for four and the score rising to 71-2 from eight.

The ninth over was equally eventful with a boundary and two wides being followed by two wickets in quick succession, Cox departing on the verge of retirement for a hard-hitting 29 and Nitsch, out to a similar lofted shot but better catch for 4.

The new pair of skipper Butcher and Scott settled things down briefly with the former also getting off the mark with a boundary and after 11 overs the home side were sitting on a very healthy 87-4, a rare incursion into the 150s looking highly possible to even the most pessimistic observer.

Unfortunately, Durham’s bowling stepped up a little at this point and Butcher perished in the next over to the always tricky Metcalfe for a lowly 5 (by his standards this season that is, normally that’s about par!)

Taylor then came and went quickly, bamboozled by the very impressive newcomer Wallace and his left-arm over wizardry to make it 95-6 from 13. Scott continued to chip away at the other end and with his new partner, the ever-steady Beacock, the collapse was halted though the run rate necessarily slowed a little and after 16 overs the home side reached 109-6. Wallace claimed his next victim, Beacock, in the next over, the batsman surprised by the bounce, lofting the ball towards a short square leg to bring Browne to the crease, an event that always sees the spectators flock out of the pavilion to witness and he didn’t disappoint. Several huge swishes saw three boundaries quickly follow and a mighty lofted drive which endangered a passing satellite and caused the only dropped chance of the innings in the deep. Scott was caught and bowled in the final over for a useful 13 and the innings finished with Browne unbeaten on 16, Hunt on 1 and a useful if slightly disappointing 129-8 on the scoreboard.

Durham began their reply facing the new ball pairing of Browne and Hunt and it was the latter who began the brighter, bowling beautifully to cartwheel the stumps of Wrede in his first over. Browne was more expensive but after four overs the pair had restricted Durham to just 15-2. Browne’s next over was shaping up well until a wide seemed to inspire new batsman Arshad and the next two balls disappeared for a six and a four. Hunt, however was bowling a great line, and another tight over left him with figures of 1-6 from three overs and Durham on 32-1 from six.

This is the moment where things began to change as the first sign of the wheels falling off appeared, perhaps the faint aroma fo the poat Ramadan feast awaiting him drifted in on the slight breeze but Arshad suddenly decided he was in a hurry and his formerly leisurely contemporary Sathar also decided to join the party. Browne’s next over went for 14 and even Hunt’s figures suffered as his final over disappeared for 16, with Arshad retiring on 34 and the score rushing on to 62-1 from 8. Browne finished with a hefty 0-37 and hunt a very respectable 1-22. Haylock’s first over managed to put the brakes on slightly but Cox’s opening over then disappeared for 15 with Sathar retiring on 30, leaving Durham suddenly sitting comfortably in the driving seat at 83-1 from 10, having added 51 runs in four overs.

Cox gave the home side a glimmer of hope by removing Whitfield for 4 with Butcher pouching the catch after a slight juggle and Haylock built on this, bowling the newcomer Clarke around his legs for 0. Unfortunately, the third of Durham’s fasting trio, Yasir, was in an even bigger hurry than his compadres as the dinner bell rapidly approached and took another 10 runs from Cox’s next over to take the visitors to a very comfortable 117-3 from 14 overs, needing just 13 to win from six overs. Haylock finishing with 1-21 from three and Cox on 1-35 from four. The introduction of Nitsch slowed the scoring down a little, though Yasir’s early retirement on 27 undoubtedly helped, and Cox’s final over also applied the brakes but the inevitable end came in the 18th as Taylor’s first over saw Durham skipper, the aptly-named Swift, crash a four to the boundary to apply the coup de grace, the visitors ultimately winning comfortably by seven wickets.

As we have many elderly readers of these reports I thought it best to draw a veil over the Mallards fielding as we can’t afford any more casualties this season.

 

 

Peter Beacock

beakersAge:   As young as he looks (so not that young actually)

Specialisms:   Wicket-keeping, Maintaining his Average

Profile: Peter is the team’s main glovesman, operating with a consistency that defies his creaking limbs. His batting style is definitely in the Boycottian sphere but when that square cut gets going…

Favourite Colour: Aquamarine

Nickname: Beakers

Gareth Taylor

Age:  The beard used to make him look older than he is but now he actually is that old

Specialisms:   Wides. Injuring himself in the run-up to bowling. The slash/cut to, over or through point.

Profile:  One of the longer serving members and currently the off-the-field supremo/dictator depending on who you ask. Once leading wicket taker for two years running, Gareth has developed the art of ‘shit gets wickets’ bowling.  Claims to also bowl leg-spin, but is rarely allowed on the grounds that the team would like to win the game!  Has ambitions to average double figures with the bat one season. A more realistic ambition is to bowl no wides in one spell.

Favourite Colour: Fuschia

Nickname: Mein Fuhrer

MCC v Ovingham 31 July 2013 @ Clara Vale

Match reporter: Paul Benneworth

It seemed only fitting that a Mallards game would once more serve to bring to a temporary close North East of England’s prolonged dry spell of recent weeks.  With all the previous week’s efforts against Davipart at Riding Mill wiped out by rain, the worsening weather forecasts over the 24 hours preceding the game raised fears that this time it would be impossible even to take to the field against Ovingham  CC.

Facing competition for players from a Genetics mid-week league game, only seven regulars plus a returning Mallard and three ringers from Clara Vale had made themselves available for selection.  But with twenty two players at Clara Vale CC by 6pm, and early drizzle thankfully  lifting, it was decided to at least take up positions to see how far the game would progress.

One of the casualties of the Davipart fiasco was Acting Captain Mark Butcher, whose back as well as his pride had taken a battering from Davipart’s quick-fire 150 runs.  Into the captaincy selflessly stepped Tom Browne, his head still spinning from the quick-fire 28  thrashed from him the previous week. Browne’s first act in the role was to lose the toss, and Ovingham duly chose to make Mallards bat, perhaps the gathering black clouds hinting that the way to victory was to skittle the Mallards and quickly knock off the required runs.  But Tom showed no fear in his new responsibilities, and sent the first of the ringers Matthew Wildman to the crease to open the batting alongside Clara Vale team mate and Mallards veteran Andy Porteous.

The bowling was opened by Hall, whose youth and pace on a skidding wicket forced the opening pair onto the back foot to assess their options; Bowey’s first over went for two, leaving the Mallards seeming harried and nervous at 5-0 after two overs.  But with the darkening conditions affecting the bowling, increasing numbers of wides gave the openers more room to start taking well-judged boundaries, no  mean feat on an increasingly damp outfield.

With Hall conceding seven off the next over, and Mallards at 19-0 after  four, Ovingham skipper Lee spelled Hall for Millar, a niggling slow bowler with a bamboozling variety in line, length and movement, ideal  for exploiting the now steady drizzle.  Nevertheless, Wildman responded by blocking to Millar, and care-freely thrashing Bowey and his replacement Derrick, to quickly reach and retire on 30, losing Porteous along the way for a careless run-out .

With Porteous replaced by Dave McGuinness, and Wildman retiring for veteran Beacock, it lay to Dave to increase the pressure.  Their fielding ranged from excellent sliding stops on the boundaries to comical dropped catches at  short-mid on, in part a response to worsening weather conditions.  But Ovingham had no answer to McGuinness’s quick-fire 30, losing only Beacock along the way to a ball that kept low from third change bowler Ashfield.

With seventeen overs completed, Mallards at one hundred, and McGuinness joining Wildman on the replacement’s bench, Benneworth took to the field with orders to up the run rate, with the umpires suggesting that the increasingly persistent rain might shorten his time at the crease.  The weather was not to trouble him, leaving the field two balls later having spooned his first faced delivery to short mid off. It lay to Craig Scott and Jordan to guide the Mallards home with 5 and 3 not out respectively to a total of 111 for 4 from twenty overs.  That figure including two retirements for 30, was certainly respectable given the increasingly marshy conditions.  OCC ran from the field and quickly took up their batting guards with the only question now when, rather than whether, the match would be stopped.

Again, Tom turned to the guest players to open the attack, passing the new ball to Dave Barnaby, who opened with a no ball.   But the opening pair were not to remain together long, with Wildman stopping a ball racing to the boundary with a diving rolling recovery, hurling the ball back at the stumps giving wicket keeper Beacock a seeming eternity to remove Ashfield’s bails and break the opening partnership.

In the second over, Cox began by bowling two very low tight balls that opener Lee poked away to the slip cordon.  A third looser delivery allowed Lee to step forward and smash the ball out to long on, where a rather surprised Benneworth stuck his hands up out to the right to stop the ball, sending an even more surprised Lee back to the pavilion when the ball stuck in Benneworth’s hands. When Tate skied an almost identical ball tantalisingly above Benneworth’s head two overs later, and three more balls were  poked soggily back to an increasingly drenched inner ring, umpires and  fielders decided that the best of the game had been had, removing the  bails for the last time with Ovingham on 20-2 after four overs.

The match provided a welcome excuse for a seasonal trip to the Boathouse Pub in Wylam, where both teams shrugged once more, and wished each other better weather next time.  But if the scoreboard will record this as a draw due to abandonment, then surely the moral account will have Mallards as having the upper hand in a game which offers much hope for what remains of our season.