Tom Browne

Age:   Mind your own f*!*ing business

Specialisms:   Quick bowling, sometimes erratic, often deadly. Swearing.

Profile: A relative newcomer to cricket when he joined Mallards a handful of years ago, Tom is now the main strike bowler for the team, combining sharp movement, uncertain control and some choice language to great effect.  Also has an honorary role as vice-vice-captain though a brief spell as tour drinks monitor was ended after a hostile takeover bid.

Favourite Colour: Pastry

Nickname: Tourette’s