Following recent match reports I was going to begin this week by comparing the night’s events to the rise of right-leaning political parties in mainland Europe combined with an analysis of how this can be linked to Keynesian monetary policies but frankly I couldn’t be arsed, so…

A very pleasant summer’s evening saw Mallards make the trip to Burnmoor to take on a surprisingly youthful Architects side. Skipper Wood lost the toss for the first time this season and the home side chose to bat first. The home side opted not to have a retiring score for batsmen, normally an ominous sign!

The omens looked even worse when Dunhill’s opening over went for 10 runs, with two casually stroked fours flying across a lightning-quick outfield but thankfully both Dunhill and the other opening bowler Page soon tightened their grip, backed up by some sharp fielding to put a break on the scoring as only seven runs came from the next two overs.

Page was the first to strike as the dangerous Fenwick was given out lbw, much to the surprise of most of the players, especially the batsman, as the ball appeared to strike him high on the thigh pad. Taking advantage of this umpiring gift, Mallards managed to keep a hold on the scoring and after six overs Architects had reached 28-1.

The home team moved up a gear with the other opener, the left-handed Cox, leading a charmed life as several mishits fell into space and the next two overs saw a spate of boundaries as the opening bowlers finished their respective spells with Dunill ending on 0-22 and Page 1-19. The latter’s figures would have been improved but for a rare drop from Dickinson, who from then on looked intent on making an impact.

Scott and McGuiness took over with the latter striking immediately with his first ball, trapping Clinton lbw for 15, a more obvious decision than the first one but one that saw a rapid removal of the home umpire!  Scott was less fortunate from the other end and after two overs was replaced by Cox, who hit his mark immediately, Dickinson making up for his drop with a solid catch at mid-off.

Loach, meanwhile was pushing the scoring rate on with some good running and after 14 overs the home side had reached a respectable 84-3. Dickinson, still seemingly intent on compensating for his earlier error, struck again in the following over, running out the home captain Robinson with a direct hit. The umpire, taking evasive action, failed to give the decision but very sportingly Robinson accepted his fate and walked.

McGuiness finished his spell with steady figures of 1-23 but Scott’s return saw a rapid acceleration as Loach and newcomer Harkin picked off three boundaries to move the home side on to 121-4 from 18 and continued their attack, taking 10 off Cox’s final over (1-22 from 4) to leave on 131 with one over left.

Skipper Wood brought himself on to bowl the final over and managed to stem the tide a little, clean-bowling Loach as Architects finished on a decent but not decisive 137-5.

A new opening partnership of Hall and Heslop took to the field for Mallards but didn’t exactly gel as Hall perished in the first over, bowled for 0 to bring Dickinson to the crease a little earlier than hoped for. With Heslop struggling to pierce the infield the scoreboard was rather stationary and after three overs Mallards were struggling on 8-1.

Dickinson, however, was beginning to find his range and in the fourth over found a pair of boundaries to get things moving. He followed this with a huge six over the boundary wall in the next over as Mallards moved back into contention at 27-1 from five overs.

That, however, was the high point as Dickinson fell lbw in the following over for 23, Buckley was caught for 0 top-edging a pull in the next and, to complete three wickets in three overs, Heslop was caught in the eighth over as Mallards slumped to 37-4.

This left Wood and Cox at the wicket, but their attempt to resurrect the innings was cut short as Wood was harshly given out lbw to Robinson for 0 as the visitors crawled to 38-5 at the halfway stage.

Scott joined Cox at the crease but soon found himself back in the pavilion caught for 0 as Robinson struck again, McGuiness followed in the next over, bowled for 1 and Mallards again lost a third wicket in three overs as Cox, who had chipped away manfully for 14,  was bowled by Robinson, the bowler finishing his four-over spell with figures of 3-6.

Mallards batting had yet again subsided dramatically, a worryingly regular occurrence recently, seven wickets falling for 23 runs in 11 overs to leave them well adrift on 50-8 from 16 overs.

Beacock, struggling with the bat this season, soon perished for 1 and the innings came to its seemingly inevitable end when Page was run out in the final over as Dunhill at least tried to push the score along to leave Mallards all out for a measly 60,  77 runs short of the home side.

Beer in the clubhouse bar was of course a compensation and some very nice chips were provided by the opposition to restore spirits but with the decider against Durham coming up next week a drastic improvement in the batting department is somewhat urgently needed.

First an apology: In my last report I suggested that Riding Mill’s wicket was more “Vaughan Williams than Def Leppard.” I appreciate now that this was highly misleading but then there was more to Vaughan Williams than met the eye: More of that later.

Following his disappointments the previous week, retired Professor and clinically diagnosed loon, Jack Bodell had managed to slip his carers and nip to ASDA where they had an excellent deal on a 3 times zoom compact camera for thirty quid. Perfect, he thought to capture the God particle from sixty yards.

Sadly for him, his carers were waiting outside the ground on Tuesday night and captured him. He was dragged back to his care home for an evening watching his “Best of Professor Brian Cox  DVD box set”. He missed the cricket and the World Cup but he was at least in safe hands.

Back at the ground the weather on the day was very much nagging just short of a length with heavy rain in the morning followed but a weighty shower at the start of play: the sort of “shall we? Shan’t we play?” type. Thankfully both sides were tough enough to take what the weather decided to throw at them.

The pitch, which has proved far harder and firmer than the perceived “Vaughan Williams” stood up to the deluge well with the odd ball still rising sharply off a length: but then Vaughan Williams liked nothing more than smacking an electric guitar in the privacy of his own home on the cellar floor. He could be just as fiery as the Riding Mill pitch. Indeed, late in life, after a night of heavy cheese consumption, the stodgy old composer experienced a night of disturbed and surreal dreams. Inspired by these he formed his own heavy metal band called “The Double Gloucesters”: There was nothing he liked to see more than a Lark Ascending sharply off a length.

Mallards won the toss and put Sparta in but faced using a very slippery ball. Sorry I should use the plural because the first was sacrificed to the neighbouring field during their innings.

It all started so well with Steve Hunt and Andy Dunhill keeping it tight for the first couple of overs. The final ball of Steve’s second over was thumped for four and this turned out to be a prelude to a series of decisive smacks to the boundary punctuated by a few respectful defensive shots. Both Andy and Steve bowled well even though the slippery ball was difficult to control. Their eight overs cost fifty seven for no wicket with the best hope of removing the batsmen being retirements on thirty which duly followed when Gibbs and Pentland replaced Rushton and North and the scoring rate slowed briefly.

It wasn’t long before Dave Cox and Srinath Perera were receiving similar treatment to the opening bowlers. Pentland was going particularly well and Srinath found controlling the slippery ball particularly tricky. Reward appeared to finally be coming Srinath’s way when Pentland, just short of his thirty lofted a drive to long on that was right down Alan Boyes’ throat. His hands gratefully accepted the gift with about as much softness as a golf ball bouncing off concrete from a great height. The chance was spilled but after just one smacked boundary later Pentland retired.

After sixteen overs the score had reached 126 for no wicket. Captain Stig turned to Glen Steele to stem the flow and chose to bowl the remaining two overs himself. The first two overs yielded more runs but Glen’s second over turned out to be the highlight of the day for Mallards. First he clean bowled Gibbs and then, Alan Boyes caught Pearson next ball to redeem his earlier drop. Next ball Cuthbert was caught behind with Pete standing up to the wicket: A most unlikely hat-trick and one to savour for Glen.

Unfortunately Stig final offer went for a few as Sparta finished on an imposing 153 for 3: well that’s what the scorebook said.

It was left to Steve Kent and Alan Boyes to open facing this imposing target but all went well for the first few overs with Alan quietly accumulating runs and Steve scoring more quickly. Both consciously picked out the volunteer Mallard fielders, filling in for Sparta, who were two men short. Despite some confused running by both openers there were few alarms as Steve soon reached his thirty. This brought hat-trick hero Glen to the crease. Alan, so often the cause of mayhem between the wickets got a taste of his own medicine as Glen called him for a sharp single. He could have shouted “no” but instead set off whilst blurting out an expletive before being run out.

At this point the momentum went out of the innings as Tony Jordan, in next, found it hard to make contact between bat and ball and Glen was uncharacteristically clean bowled for two. Tony fell soon afterwards for one and was closely followed by Pete for the same score, leaving the Mallards hopelessly adrift on sixty for four in the twelfth over. There was no realistic way back from there though Dave Cox certainly upped the scoring rate with some fine straight hitting, ably supported by Stig. With the score on ninety-nine from seventeen overs, Stig fell, caught by Gibbs off North for six. Dave soon retired leaving Steve and Srinath to play out the last couple of overs against Sparta’s best bowlers, with no real hope of getting close. They survived to reach 115, thirty-eight short of Sparta’s score.

Spirits rose at the Duke of Wellington with another fine serving of roasties and the breaking news of Brazil’s capitulation.

The evening that started in heavy rain ended bathed in warm, mellow summer sun light and chirruping birdsong echoing across the valley in a scene of transcendent, serene tranquility: Sounds like we’re back to Vaughan Williams. Why, you may wonder have so few heard of his heavy metal band then? Simple: they were shit.

Ah Summer, just the word conjures up happy memories…holidays, no school for months, beer gardens, beaches, beer gardens and beaches.  I think I need to branch out a bit on my summer activities.  What Summer gives us though is the chance to play some cricket, yes, for those 3 glorious weeks of the year, spread out from May to September, the whites can be washed and dried on the line, the outfield can quicken and we can head to our favourite summer retreat, Riding Mill.

 In glorious sunshine (the radio reported it to be 27° as I was driving along, it wasn’t, it was 18°) the mighty Mallards, fresh from the victory against the Old Firm, facing Tony Jordan’s Ovington Kestrels.

Captain Stig lost the toss and Ovington decided to bat first, in temperatures that the radio must have by now been comparing to the Atacama Desert.  20 overs of swashbuckling cricket was about to start, but the lack of 3G coverage at Riding Mill meant we couldn’t watch the T20 Bash on Sky Go, so our game started instead.

For the final time this season, Tony Cleaver opened the bowling, with the Ovington openers being Ali Hall and Dave McGuiness.  So, for the first time this game, we have a Mallard bowling to two Mallards players, more of this to come later, it gets farcical.  Tony got through his first over, with only a wide and a single coming off it.  He seemed to get back into his fielding position rather  quickly, and could be seen shuffling around in the outfield, at closer glance I could swear this resembled the scene in the Shawshank Redemption as Tim Robbins empties the contents of his pockets down his trouser leg.  Presumably Tony was getting rid of any unsold ‘goods’ before returning to Columbia, the bosses do not accept poor sales, even in a recession.

Dave Cox took the new (ish) ball from the Sunshine End, and immediately hit his straps, bowling some great stuff, with the ball nipping through to Beacock at a good pace.  Hall did manage to knock a well timed drive through the covers for four though, having kept the strike from the first over.

Cleaver to McGuiness then, Mallard et Mallard, Tony started with a wide, the wily old fox, keeping the batsman guessing.  It didn’t quite go to plan as the next delivery went for four.  However, as the old saying in Columbia goes “Juemadre” (Google it, it’s quite appropriate), Tony kept his cool and sent down the perfect delivery, swinging back in and clipping the top-of-off, textbook stuff, and McGuiness was on his way back for 4 [wondering if he really should start working on that forward defensive shot – Ed.].

A decent start by Mallards, with only 12 runs coming of the first four overs.  The dismissal of McGuiness brought Ball to the crease, who after nurdling his first few scoring shots around began to play his shots, and play them well.  Cleaver and Cox continued to bowl well, but with little reward, as the new partnership gathered some pace, coming into the 7^th over, the score has pushed on to 38.  But of course Cleaver, now in his final over of the season, had something to say about this, bowling the dangerous Hall for 15, gracias senor, gracias.

Ball continued to play well, timing to some great shots of Cox’s final over for a 6 and a 4, and taking a liking to new bowler Perera, swiftly reaching 31 to retire (despite a retirement of 25 being agreed at the toss!).  Terry and Ball Jnr were now at the crease, and whilst Terry was happy to knock it around take singles, Ball Jnr was a little more extravagant, launching the following in four consecutive balls 6-4-4-6……show off.

Scott came on at the Sunshine End to replace Cox, and for some reason was managing to find some swing, shaping the ball away from the batsman…….the crease…..and the wicket keeper, with 3 wides off his first over and another of his second.  Perera’s struggles continued at the other end, with sun in the eyes of the bowler, and some big hitting from the batsman a recipe for disaster. Captain Stig had his thinking cap on.  Ball Jnr followed Ball Snr in retiring on 31, bringing P Terry to the crease.  At this point I will explain that the Ovington Team contains a Hall, Ball, Ball, Terry, Terry.

Stig’s sharp captaincy meant that Scott was switched to the one tree end, and Jonny Bennett came on from the Sunshine End.  This worked straight away, with P Terry trapped LBW first ball of the over, umpire Taylor taking an eternity to give the decision, but making the right one in the end.

With Jordan replacing Terry, Scott began his two overs from the Field End, again with an immediate impact, trapping Jordan LBW and then in his fourth over removing Jones LBW and M Terry Bowled, his 4 overs going for 12 runs and 3 wickets, all hail captain Stig.

By now the run rate had slowed dramatically, after being on 106 after 13 overs, Mallards had kept them to 124 as the last over began.  The two batsman you ask?  That would be Colin Haylock and Andy Dunhill, told you this gets farcical, but stay with me, it gets even better.  Haylock requested a “4 and a 1” from Dunhill in the previous over, who duly delivered, before the innings closed on 126 [allegations of match fixing and spot betting manipulation were made by Cox – disappointed that he hadn’t been included in the cabal – Ed.].

Kent and Boyes opened for Mallards, whilst Dunhill opened for Ovington (??), Kent pulling the first ball of the innings for four.  Mallards went about the run chase calmly, keeping the score ticking over but finding boundaries difficult.  Terry bowling some tidy stuff from the Sunshine End and removing Boyes for 2.  Dunhill was replaced after 2 overs by McGuiness, who bowled some good stuff, including a wicket maiden that removed Kent for 18, clean bowled.  Terry bowled though his 4 overs with no further wickets, going for 15 runs, and was replaced by Haylock.  Was this meant was that SEVEN of the first THIRTEEN overs had been bowled by Mallards.  This is surely a new record?

By now, Buckley and Cox were at the crease, with the game in the balance as we reached 44 off 10 overs, at this stage Ovington were 83.  “We just need a few good overs” came the expert punditry from Bennett on the boundary, Atherton and Lloyd have nothing to worry about.  However, this pundit proved to be spot on, with a few good overs arriving, Cox displaying some supreme timing and striking to race his way to retirement with 32.  Buckley and new batsman Stig continued to keep up the scoring rate, with Stig hitting the ball with some power and Buckley using good timing to find the boundaries more and more.  After being on 44 after 10 overs, Mallards, were 108 after 16.

By now Buckley had retired on 31 and Bennett was at the crease, trying to work out how he could be on strike to hit the winning runs.  He had been joined by Perera, after Stig was bowled for 19, off the bowling of Dunhill, who had come on the time from the Sunshine End to finish off his spell, the treacherous dog.  J Ball replaced Dunhill, and given that he looked a very very decent bowler, Bennett knew what to do, as an experienced player, pinch a quick single and get down to the other end as fast as possible to calmly enjoy the evening sun from the safety of the non-strikers end.  The meant that the unfortunate Perera ended up facing Ball with the need to keep up the scoring crucial.  A tough ask.  Ball had him caught behind for 0.

Beacock and Bennett at the crease, two overs left, 8 runs needed.  The score had been helped along by a disastrous over from Jones from an Ovington perspective, going for 18 runs at a crucial stage in the game.  Haylock stepped to up to bowl his last, and the 19^th over of the game.  And what an over, only a single and a wide coming from it, with Colin bowling a great line and length to contain the batsman.

Into the last, 6 to win, Ball bowling from the Sunshine End.  Single off the first from Bennett, single of the third from Beacock, 4 to win from 3 balls.  Ball send down a short pitched ball that Bennett is able to pull away behind square for four.  Game Over. Phew.

A really good game of cricket, with everyone getting a chance to contribute with either bat or ball, and a good run chase coming down to last over.

A good send off to Tony for another year, Tony it’s been fantastic to play cricket with you again this Summer, we all wish you a safe trip back to Colombia, where the atmosphere must be electric given their World Cup performances, looking forward to next year.

A good turn out in The Wellington saw us receive some well earned Roasties and Gravy, just the job.

Finally, I will be adding a Man of the Match to my match reports.  And this is a difficult one.  Cox & Buckley both retired, Bennett for the winning runs and some tidy bowling?  Captain Stig for sticking with his game plan and getting the rewards?  Tony Cleaver for two wickets on his last appearance this year?  Decisions, Decisions…..

Man of the Match: C Scott (match reporter)

When former Lancashire and England fast bowler, Professor Ken Higgs accepted his Oscar in 2012 for discovering the “Higgs Boson” or “God particle” he was quick to give the credit to others saying that he was simply part of a team. True; it was he who had first discovered the said particle just behind short square leg against Sussex in 1963. It was a day of double celebration as his four wickets helped skittle Sussex out for just 156 that day. He failed, however, to mention the first true visionary; Jack Bodell, Oxford Professor of Advanced Physics had long wished to prove the theory correct but, despairing of a lack of investment, decided to carry out his own “Heath Robinson” experiments.

He reasoned that the furious bombarding of particles required to identify the “boson” could be replicated by aggressive punching in the boxing ring. For years the Professor learned the trade, eventually becoming British Heavyweight champion by outpointing Joe Bugner in 1971. His theories about the “God Particle” came crashing down, however, when he was knocked out by Danny McAlinden in the following year, seemingly proving that neither God nor the aforementioned particle existed.

Unbowed and unrepentant, the determined Professor retired to Cern where he worked with the team on the Large Hadron Collider. Here, at last, evidence for the particle was found. Still the Professor demanded firmer, more tangible proof. Satisfied that boxing couldn’t provide the evidence he chanced upon reports that one sport and one sporting club had all the ingredients to reproduce the God particle. The intense impact of leather on pitch, skull, hand or even bat could be, he thought, just the thing to reproduce and prove the existence of the aforementioned particle.  All he needed was a team of finally honed athletes and a concrete like pitch from which a ball could ping batsmen’s helmets.

Word got to the eminent professor that the Mallards and Riding Mill cricket ground held all the ingredients he was looking for, so he rushed to the ground to find some conclusive evidence once and for all. Don’t ask me who fed him that dud information.

The excitement of anticipation was instantly popped when he arrived at the ground to see these finally honed athletes warming up for their latest encounter: Some with greying temples – the younger ones that is. This rustic idyll hardly looked the place for a concerted barrage of chin music.

Still hopeful with a chilled breeze and a cold porridge sky above, the eminent professor sat down to watch the match, at least hopeful that a hard and fiery pitch might help provide the evidence he sought. After the first few balls had been bowled he was seized by a severe gruntle deficiency as it became clear that even the pitch wasn’t going to help. In musical terms the pitch was a “Vaughan Williams” not a “Def Leppard”. “Unless someone bowls a fast beamer my evening’s been wasted.” He mused.

Whilst the gruntle free professor sat in the far corner of the ground the two friendly teams gathered for yet another most civilised and agreeable encounter. Hardly the stuff of particle bombardment but welcome break from our collective jobs: an escape.

Riding Mill were put in to bat by, captain for the night, Stig. No Highland Games tossing the bat merriment to decide this time: just a double sided coin. Things began steadily enough with both Tony Cleaver and Andy Dunhill, sporting a fetching bandana, keeping a tight line. Tony was gifted the first wicket when his long hop was thumped down Dave McGuinness’ throat in the third over. Tony followed this up with an LBW for the other opener making it 34 for 2 after 7 overs. Andy bowled Drake, with the most uncharacteristic piece of bodyline, with the ball ricocheting onto the stumps off the batsman. The eminent professor’s interest was raised but still no sign of the aforementioned particle making an appearance. The Mallards were taking control. Colin Haylock soon followed with the fourth, bowling Greensit, leaving the score at 43 for 4 after 11 overs.

This brought the feared and formidable guardian of the ground, Mr Nitsch, and he was in no mood to do his old team mates any favours. His bribe to the umpires was to pay dividends as he held the latter part of the inning together with the help of first Walker (12) then Marks (21 not out). They managed to up the scoring rate and comfortably pass 100. All the bowlers kept things generally tight but the odd over was punished. Peter eventually fell to a run out for 30: the retirement score. It was later revealed that he’d reached 31, leaving him feeling aggrieved though this failed to take account of his two clear [not given – Ed.] run outs and a possible stumping along the way [and not forgetting a feathered edge to the keeper that also was denied by the umpire – Ed.]. A special mention for the fielder: Gareth who managed hit the stumps from an angle that left only one stump to aim for.

Riding Mill finished on a respectable 114 for 6 in their twenty overs. Gareth and Srinath’s figures took some stick late without bowling badly. Dave Cox’s 4 overs, 1 for 12 had tied Riding Mill down prior to the late flourish and ensured a total that was probably below par for the wicket.

And so, after some recent batting traumas it was the Mallards turn to attempt some rehabilitation on this generally welcoming surface: Harton and Westoe this was not. Things started brightly as Alan Boyes dabbed two cultured boundaries in the second over only to spoil it by running himself out in the next over [to a direct hit from the fielder who had 2 stumps to aim at – Ed.]. This only brought Dave McGuinness (pictured) to the wicket to build a characteristically grinding and attritional knock. He took time to weigh up the bowlers and the pace of the pitch by hitting his first two balls for a slightly top edged six to backward square then a four.  Glen offered solid support as Dave slowed a little from his initial strike rate of 500. Glen (22) and Dave (21) fell in quick succession but by then the score was already 63 in the eighth over.

This brought the two Mark’s – Stig and Buckley together: not literally, of course. Mark Buckley took his time to get his eye in after a bad run of form, whilst Stig kept the innings together. The scoring rate slowed as the swishing of Stigs bat reached velocities sufficient to cause a sonic boom that could be heard at the boundary but Mark did manage a few lusty blows including a six and four fours before bizarrely being caught and bowled on 29.

His departure only brought Dave Cox to the crease: clearly very thirsty and in need of some pub food polished the game off with a four-six flourish to win the game with sixteen balls to spare. The last blow was so fierce that the eminent professor swore he could see the impact spark the Higgs Bosun but his camera was on the blink and he was sat too far away for his flash gun to pick the moment up anyway. Setting his little compact on super macro mode for a subject over sixty yards away was a daft idea as well.

No matter: science’s loss was cricket’s gain as the Mallards had positively cruised to a comfortable win with six wickets to spare.

So for Professor Bodell and both teams; no aforementioned particles but a trip to the Duke of Wellington with real ale and only the finest sun dried chips, pies and onion rings, which more than made up for the disappointment and capped a wonderful evening.

This match report is brought to you by the numbers 0, 5 and 12. Also the letter O.

On the evening where the Test Match at Headingley went down to the penultimate ball and the England football team once again embarrassed themselves, two mighty teams faced each other on a rather not-so-mighty wicket (more of that later).

The two skippers agreed on the usual friendly rules and as is the Mallards’ skipper’s tradition, Buckley lost the toss (this one done with an actual coin) and Mallards were put into bat. This despite Buckley’s best (or probably worst) efforts at reverse psychology in trying to get Yog to choose batting. Yog knew what he was doing though!!

Opening with a brand new opening partnership of McGuinness and McChlery who manfully agreed to strap on the pads first, they stepped out into the unknown and became the first victims of a rather awful pitch. On a wicket with less bounce than a concrete football the first 4 overs amassed a grand total of 4 runs, all to McGuinness. Unfortunately, it also brought about 1 wicket, McChlery who, after blocking out 10 balls in almost textbook manner, went after a delivery and top-edged to be caught in the covers by young Saif. This brought Beacock (pictured) to the wicket and both he and McGuinness hit a boundary each before McGuiness fell in the 7^th over when he was bowled by the bowling of Hamza. This was a case of 3^rd time unlucky as McGuinness had been dropped twice in his innings of 12. In came Nitsch and then out went Nitsch (from the bowling of Thomson) as he was given out lbw by the umpire – Tony “Trigger Finger” Cleaver – despite Nitsch being only about 3 foot in front of the umpire when the ball hit him! This brought Buckley to the wicket who has been rather naff with the bat this season for Mallards. Neither he nor Beacock could get the ball away due to the extremely low and slow bounce being offered from the bowling of Gill and Saif and this eventually led to Beacock losing his patience (yes, you read that correctly!) and tried to swing but missed and the ball hit middle stump from the bowling of Gill.

Perera came to the wicket and the runs still came VERY slowly. When they did come Buckley had to give up running a 3 as it would’ve ended up with him lapping Perera. As Buckley did not know the rules when it came to lapping your batting partner he decided against it. Perera eventually went when he was run out by a mis-throw from Dinak. Taylor joined Buckley at the wicket before Buckley was eventually bowled by Umar – going for a ball that landed halfway down the wicket and bounced so high it hit the bottom of middle stump. Taylor was then joined by Scott and soon after Scutt after a mix-up in calls had led to the run out of Scott. So as Scott was replaced by Scutt, so Scutt was soon bowled by Gill for 1 on the last ball of the innings leaving Mallards with a score of 46. Top scorers were McGuinness and Buckley on 12, followed by extras on 11, then Beacock and Taylor 5 (the latter not out).

Still, the aim of the match had been reached in surpassing the score of 45 against Durham Staff the week before. Buckley nearly asked Davipart to let the game end there. Unfortunately, they decided to bat and, never having defended a total of 46 before, skipper Buckley was expecting to be in the bar after only 5 overs. However, a very concerted effort by all Mallardians was given in the field. Both Cleaver (3 overs, 0 for 9) and Dunhill shared the opening overs and, having umpired for the majority of the Mallards innings, knew what to do. Pitch it up and in line with the stumps. This they did very well indeed.  Dunhill was unlucky to see McGuinness drop a very difficult chance given by D Rawlley Jnr at deep mid-on when on nought. At the other end,  Scholes (no, not that one) was putting the ball into the air a lot but finding space away from fielders until he decided to advance down the wicket to Nitsch, who had replaced Dunhill (3 overs, 0 for 8), and missed the ball giving Beacock with a straightforward stumping. Could the unthinkable happen? Well, no, but some very good bowling from Scott (3 overs, 0 for 6) and Nitsch (3 overs, 1 for 13) prolonged the game into the 13^th over. Perera came on with the Davipart score at 42 and despite some decent line and length was unfortunately hit for 2 fours meaning that the game came to an end with the last ball of the 13^th over and Davipart ending on 50-1.

So, after 33 overs of cricket a grand total of 96 runs were scored.  Slightly different to the 324 runs scored a few weeks ago in the match against Ovingham and this game didn’t even have 9 men fielding on the boundary for 5 overs!!!

Although defeated, a grand effort all round by Mallards on a very difficult pitch and a large amount of crisps had in the bar after the game. Always a nice way to end an evening!

After a narrow defeat against Sparta on Monday, Mallards regathered to face a Durham Staff team keen to gain revenge for our win there in May.

Skipper Wood again won the toss and again put the opposition into bat hoping to repeat the previous game’s successful run chase and Browne got off to another good start with his customary early wicket, a somewhat fortunate deflection from thigh pad onto off stump seeing the end of Wrede.

At the other end Cleaver bowled tightly against his old team-mates without much luck and it was Browne who picked up the second wicket as he finally found the right line to trap Wastell lbw for nine.

Despite the early wickets Durham skipper Swift was batting well and after six overs the home team reached a sturdy 46-2.

Another expensive over from Browne saw him finish his spell with 2-40 but Cleaver redressed the balance in his final over, removing Swift for 21 and finishing with 1-23 from his four overs.

Wisbach took over from Browne and the bowling change paid immediate dividends when, from his first ball, McGuiness took an astonishing two-handed goalkeeper-style catch from a huge straight drive to leave the Mallards fielders speechless and the unfortunate batsman shaking his head on a slow trudge back to the pavilion (poetic licence there as we were banished to the pitch across the bridge where the facilities are somewhat absent, i.e for ‘pavilion’ read the edge of the pitch where the kit was scattered.)

With Dunhill replacing Cleaver the bowlers started to bring the scoring rate down a little but after 12 overs Durham were still very handily placed on 89-4.

Cox replaced Wisbach and immediately caused the Durham batsmen a few problems without getting the early wicket he deserved but only conceding seven runs from his first two overs. With Dunhill finishing a steady spell with 0-25 the scoring rate continued to drop as the home side reached 109-4 from 16.

The 17^th over saw Cox finally get his due reward as first Nitsch took a sharp catch at point to dismiss Shaw for 19 and then two balls later he bowled Whitfield for 28 to reduce the home side to 116-6. The returning Wisbach continued the fightback as a top-edged pull found Steel at fine leg to make it 122-7.

Mallards, and in particular Cox, were on fire now as first the bowler removed Vishal, clean bowled for 5 and then Browne pouched a comfortable catch in the covers as the bowler finished his fine spell of 4-14 with a double-wicket maiden and Durham crawled to 123-9.

The visitors fine bowling and fielding display, as exemplified by particularly energetic fielding from Scutt throughout, was capped by Wisbach taking his third wicket and Durham’s last from the second ball of his final over, Nitsch taking another comfortable catch as the home side were dismissed for 124, the bowler finishing with an excellent 3-17 from 3.2 overs.

Having chased 150 in the previous winning effort at MaidenCastle, Mallards were firmly in the driving seat but as investment companies everywhere will warn you ‘past performance is not an indicator of future results.’

Steel and Nitsch lead the reply with Steel gaining an immediate reprieve as he mistimed a pull from an obvious no ball straight to a fielder. Unfortunately the square leg umpire Cleaver had dozed off and it took several minutes and a polite(!) enquiry from the astonished batsman for him to concur that the no ball was indeed obvious.

Sadly the early reprieve didn’t really help as in the second over Steel repeated a similar shot to a non-no-ball and was caught for 1.

Bad then became worse as the third over saw both Hall and Scutt come and go without troubling the scorers and Mallards slump to 10-3.

Nitsch and McGuiness managed to stem the tide a little and, with the help of some erratic bowling and a number of wides, moved the scoreboard along to a more respectable 32-3 from five overs to provide a platform for the drive to victory. That didn’t quite happen.

Firstly Nitsch was clean-bowled for what turned out to be an impressive 9 and then Wood was immediately run out without scoring, his attempt to return for a second bye thwarted by an unlikely direct hit from the boundary.

A miserable 35-5 then, unbelievably, became a much worse 37-8 as McGuinness was clean bowled for seven and the next over saw Cox and Browne both depart for 1 and 0 respectively, both clean-bowled by Boothroyd who now had figures of 2-1 from two overs (the 1 being a wide!)

Fortunately Wisbach, the match-winning hero from the previous victory was next in. Unfortunately he was also next out, scooping a simple return catch to the new bowler Vishal for 1.

The unexpected carnage suddenly left last men Cleaver and Dunhill at the wicket with nine overs still remaining and 85 needed for victory – and after the former’s batting heroics of the previous night it appeared that one of the great comebacks was on. Sadly such optimism was on the cusp of delusional. A couple of blocked overs aside the end was nigh and three overs later Cleaver was cleaned bowled for 3 to give Durham a sweet taste of revenge with a clumping 79-run win, leaving Dunhill unbeaten on 0 – a score replicated by five of his fellow batsmen.

The extent of the batting nightmare is best illustrated by the fact that Extras, with 24, wasn’t just top-scorer, as at Heaton on Monday, it was more than the 11 batsmen combined made with just 21 runs coming from the bat. A classic Mallards performance.

Match reporter: Alan Boyes (you might have guessed this)

Chaos theory suggests that the merest flap of a butterfly’s wing somewhere on the opposite side of the globe could trigger a chain of events that might be monumental and cataclysmic. Given the interconnection of all things in the Universe (that’s the kind of quality scientific and philosophical point of view you’d expect in a Mallards match report) there is a certain sense in that.

Last year’s summer had led to a boom in the butterfly population, boosted by long glorious endless days of warmth and sunlight. After so many cool summers and long winters it was finally time for them to venture out: a time to play; a time to make new friends; find love, romance and generally flap their wings a lot.

With so many of them now ready to brave the first rays of summer sun this year the two teams took to the field at Heaton Medicals Ground, totally unaware of the momentous events unfolding – or unflapping – just outside Banbury in Oxfordshire. These first tentative flickers of summer heat as the summer sun shone benignly upon the richly coloured meadows. The last lazy hum of collected flies and bumblies with a scented breeze proved a heady mix for one solitary, yet frisky and amorous male butterfly who had caught sight of the most beautiful female he’d ever laid eyes on. Without a moment’s hesitation he said to his self, “she’s the one! We’ll settle down together, start a family, get our own place, buy a nice car, spend our holidays in Reykjavik and argue over whether to get a conservatory.”

Love was in the air around that apparently tranquil rural idyll. More serious matters, however, were taking place in the depths of Heaton where the Mallards were seeking to build on an encouraging early season. Sparta came along with other plans.

A brilliant, sunny evening greeted the two sides and it was good to see that the Mallards had a full squad, allowing a debut to Andy McChlery and a rest for Trevor. Stig was captain and proved initially to be a hopeless tosser with not a penny to his name. In fairness the Sparta captain suffered a similar deficiency so they tossed the bat instead. Stig lost and the Mallards were forced to bat first.

Initially all seemed well with Steve Kent and Alan Boyes making decent progress in the early overs. The bowling from David Luiz at the top end was a bit erratic but runs flowed, reaching 19 for no wicket after three.

It was at this point that the vigorous activity of the butterflies set off a chain of events that had rendered the powerful Mallard batting line up completely useless. Alan Boyes decided to play inside the line to an innocuous straight ball from Pentland and was quickly followed by Stig and Mark Buckley leaving them at 20 for 3 against some gentle bowling. True it was a two paced pitch with many balls keeping low but it was hardly a minefield.

Colin McCaffery joined Steve and quickly built some fresh momentum with some helpful bowling: that amorous butterfly was getting to Sparta’s bowlers too; but just as they were accelerating it was time for Steve to retire, having reached thirty and his replacement, newcomer Andy McChlery fell quickly for nought, stumped.

This deflated the inning somewhat but Colin continued in pugnacious fashion, building a recovery only for the amorous butterfly’s over activity to set off yet another spiral of calamities as first Colin fell, quickly followed by Pete, Stuart and then Tom, who fell to an underpowered lofted straight drive. His erudite response – that’s a brand of super glue – summed things up; “piss!!!” And off he trudged, lamenting the butterflies. It was 82 for 8 now: the only consolation was that there were still eight overs left.

It was at this point with, Tony Cleaver and Gareth at to the wicket, that chaos theory hit Sparta. Wickets became hard to come by; indeed pitching the ball anywhere near the stumps or below waist height proved too much for the hapless bowlers. Eventually the umpires took pity on the bowlers, taking a more relaxed view of what constituted a wide or a no ball: Well we all wanted to get home at some point and it was painful to watch. Would a stricter view have changed the result? Oh sod it we all wanted to get to the pub before closing time. The umpires were losing count of the number of balls to be bowled in these endless overs too.

All Tony and Gareth had to do was help the ball on its way if it every arrived anywhere near them. I say “all” but that proved too much for many of the earlier batsmen. The partnership steadily accumulated runs, reaching forty four before Gareth was bowled for five.

Steve joined Tony to finish the inning off on 137 for 9. This was one of Tony’s finest innings (21 not out) and Steve had provided the highest score off the bat (34 not out). This was dwarfed, however, by the extras stacked up by the befuddled bowlers, who similarly cursed the butterflies and their wretched chaos theory. The fancy hifalutin butterflies with their clever intellectual theories were cursed by all. There had been some fine batting highlights from Steve, Tony and Colin but not much to cheer about elsewhere. Well there was always the bowling to look forward to. And what better gift to your most senior player than to let him take the new ball having just played one of his longest innings.

Straight away Tony put the ball on the spot but wasn’t having much luck. Tom at the other end was little less consistent but still threatening. The scoring rate was quite slow but largely untroubled until Tony finally broke the partnership, trapping Pentland lbw for ten. This brought Pearden to the wicket, whose stance suggested he was more in need of time at the toilet than in the middle. He didn’t look like troubling the scorers until he swiped two less than cultured boundaries off Tony. The following over brought out his musical side: the sight of Tom running in to bowl, for reasons known only to him, reminded him of River Dance. Consumed with this image he was helpless to ward off the power of the medium of dance as he tapped his way through the most exciting moves from River Dance, skipping over a Yorker that clattered his stumps. The power of music is greater than the forward defence.

The scoring rate still lagged behind the required rate but the batsmen saw off Tony and Tom without further loss. Stuart and Gareth replaced them but despite bowling well were still picked off each over by the batsmen. Mallards were beginning to rely on batting retirements with the hope that the next man in would be less effective. Though Gareth finally dismissed Sparta’s number five the scoring rate began to quicken. With Colin and Stig taking the dubious honour of being death bowlers Sparta need thirty five off four with seven wickets left.

That lack of wickets gave them the leg room to accelerate further. Colin’s first over went for fourteen after a promising start and that left a much easier target for the final three, in which they could play for singles and pick the odd two or boundary. It seemed like they would coast to victory but even with many wickets in hand they found Colin and Stig’s subsequent overs difficult to get away. With two balls left the scores were tied and a good stop by Wisbach brought the result down to the last ball once again. Sadly, despite a solid inner ring of all nine fielders, a scrambled single saw Sparta limp over the line off the last ball.

The truth was that without some very generous bowling this might have been a very one-sided game but that would be ignoring the very generous Mallards batting where 137 was clearly below par against the Sparta attack. It’s only a game but the events that unfurled at the Heaton Medicals ground can only add to the clamour and groundswell of opinion for a mass butterfly cull.

A rare lovely summer’s evening saw the return of Colombian exile Tony Cleaver (pictured above)  to the Mallards team as they sought to continue their positive start to the season against a rejuvenated Ovingham team.

Skipper Wood won the toss and chose to field in a game played under slightly unusual circumstances – 21 overs a side, 12 players a team and a maximum of three overs per bowler.

The returning Cleaver was given the honour of leading the attack and started steadily with just six runs coming from his first two overs. Cox at the other end was less frugal and was replaced by the ever-consistent Dunhill. Nevertheless the Ovingham batsmen were looking in ominous form and some fine straight driving, combined with some rather erratic bowling, saw the score mount rapidly and after five overs the visitors had reached 40-0 with Cleaver finishing his spell with 0-17

Dunhill then made his mark bowling the impressive looking Derrik for 17. Unfortunately this brought the even-more impressive Chamberlain to the crease and he continued in much the same vein. With Cox returning from the pavillion end and Scott replacing Dunhill (1-16) the score continued to mount rapidly and after 10 overs Ovingham were sitting pretty on 87-1.

Thankfully the introduction of the wily Wisbach put the brakes on as he took a wicket with his second ball, helped by a magnificent catch in the deep by McCaffrey to dismiss opener Drake for 23.   The bowler struck again in his next over with keeper Buckley grabbing a sharp stumping to get rid of Tate for 4.

With Scott proving expensive at the other end (two overs 0-21), skipper Wood replaced him and struck in his first over, McCaffrey again claiming another fine catch in the deep to remove Wallbank for 3.

The sudden flurry of wickets had slowed the run rate slightly as the scoreboard moved to 108-4 from 14 overs with Wisbach almost adding to his tally when McGuinness nearly held on to a fierce pull at square leg, stopping a certain boundary with his throat!  The bowler eventually finished his excellent spell with 2-20, his figures only marred by two late boundaries as incoming batsman Stewart found his range.

Wood also suffered from Stewart’s rustic hitting, going for two big sixes to finish with 1-25 from his three overs as the visitors regathered steam to surge to 146-4 from 18 overs despite Nitsch’s steady start at the pavillion end.

McCaffrey’s only over produced just five runs but in the final over Nitsch’s fine figures took a bit of a bashing as 15 runs came from it and the visitors reached an intimidating 169-4 from their 21 overs.

Having chased down 150 already this season Mallards hopes remained high and Steele and Wood, the same opening pair who began that run chase, again began well with Steele, in particular, playing beautifully as they reached 36-0 from just three overs.

The score continued to mount rapidly as Wood brought up their second consecutive 50 partnership in just the sixth over. Unfortunately, with Steele on the verge of a well-earned retirement, umpire Taylor (boo!) sent him back to the pavillion with a badly-timed but probably right lbw decision.

Dickinson entered the fray and was soon into his stride with a six and a four as Mallards continued to keep up with the challenging run rate, reaching 75-1 from just 9 overs. It seemed that luck was with the home side as umpire Taylor (hurray!) shouted ‘no ball’ moments before Dickinson missed a heave at Hall and heard his stumps clattered. Unfortunately the very next ball was an action replay (but without the no ball call) and Dickinson returned to the pavillion for a rapid 13 with McGuinness joining Wood at the crease.

Dickinson’s demise heralded the usual mid-innings crisis as  Wood was bowled for a solid 19 followed immediately by McCaffrey, dismissed first ball in identical fashion. McGuiness followed suit in the next over, caught at point as Mallards stumbled to 95-5 from 12 overs, slipping marginally behind the required run rate for the first time.

Fortunately this week’s batting line-up was stronger than usual and the new batsmen Buckley and Scott settled things down again and got the scoreboard moving with 25 runs coming from the next three overs but just as Buckley began to hit his best form he picked out Chamberlain, the visitors best fielder, right on the boundary and the youngster held on to a good catch at the second attempt to remove the batsman for 15. After 15 overs Mallards were 120-6, three runs ahead of the visitors at the same stage.

Cox now joined Scott at the crease with 50 runs required from six overs and the pair started steadily adding another dozen runs in the next two overs to leave things evenly poised with 38 needed from four overs.

Unfortunately Ovingham had now gone completely on the defensive and with 10 fielders in a ring around the boundary it was becoming increasingly difficult to score quick runs as first Scott (13) and then Nitsch (3) were run out trying gallantly to eke out every run.

A four from Cox just about kept Mallards in touch but with Wisbach unable to repeat his previous heroics the game was finally up when the former was unluckily bowled off his pads for 16 in the final over.

Cleaver belatedly joined the fray, adding a single as Mallards finished their innings on a gallant 155-8 finishing just 14 runs short of another great but ultimately unsuccessful run chase.

Disappointingly the opposition failed to show up at the pub (Mallards loanee Jordan excepted), possibly due to the Brazil game having just kicked off but the home side continued to display their dogged determination by managing to eat both teams allocation of roast potatoes and chips.

 Match reporter: Gareth Taylor

 Before proceeding with the account of this week’s game, first an apology to those players who’ve had a sense of suffering from undersized balls this season – no this hasn’t been due to old age shrinkage, but indeed our captain falling victim to the vagaries of ebay seller descriptions (or pressing “buy now” while under the influence of alcohol – and yes we’ve all been there) and purchasing ladies balls for Mallards use. To quote that bastion of accuracy, Wikipedia:

“For men’s cricket, the ball must weigh between 5 1/2 and 5 3/4 ounces (155.9 and 163.0 g) and measure between 8 13/16 and 9 in (224 and 229 mm) in circumference. In women’s cricket the ball must weigh between 4 15/16 and 5 1/16 ounces (139.9 and 143.5 g) and measure between 8.3 and 8.9 in (210 and 225 mm) in circumference.”

Having measured the ball that was provided for the game on Tuesday, it definitely fell into the latter category. A big thanks therefore to Peter Nitsch for loaning the club a proper sized ball and hopefully the matter will be rectified ahead the next game.

Anyhow, onto the report proper. Despite a dodgy weather forecast, heavy rain over the weekend and several last minute drop-outs, Mallards managed to field 11 players (well 10 and then eventually 11) to face up to long-time opponents Architects. For once Architects did not look like they had brought along a couple of Burnmoor first teamers to bolster the squad, however “Ivor the Terrible” was in the squad and immediately made his peace with Leon who was in attendance to spectate and hopefully to inspire young Freddie.

Losing the toss on what was starting to look like quIte a pleasant early summer’s evening, vice captain Tom Browne was invited to field. Taking full advantage of his leadership, Browne elected to open the bowling and for the second time this season snaffled a wicket with his first ball, a short pitched delivery that was well taken by Cox.  However Clinton and number 3 Robinson steadied the ship with a 33-run partnership that was broken by Hunt to a well-judged catch by Buckley. At the end of 8 overs Browne finished with figures of 2 for 24  (snaffling a 2^nd wicket with his last ball) and Hunt 1 for 23.

Replacing the openers (and finally with 11 men on the field) Cox continued his run of fine bowling taking wickets with more well taken catches by Kent and Scutt – his figures slightly marred by the late arrival of Ivor (“the terrible”) Harkin who proceeded to swing through the line to hit 2 big sixes to cow corner to leave Cox with final figures of  2 for 33 from his four overs.  Meanwhile at the other end Nitsch provided some excellent tight bowling to finish with a highly respectable 0 for 18.

With Harkin retiring on 30, the score at 101 for 5 at the end of the 16^th over – after some generally excellent fielding – Browne turned to Taylor and Scutt to bowl the final 4 overs. Taylor duly delivered 2 wickets in first over mainly thanks to 2 excellent catches by Cox and Hunt, and Scutt also delivered with his 4^th ball courtesy of a well-taken catch by Browne. However it was at that point that the wheels fell off, with Scutt’s next 3 balls going for 9 runs. Taylor provided some control going for only 4 more in his second over and bagging a 3^rd wicket thanks to a superb one-handed catch by Cox (his third of the evening) to end with figures 3 for 8 from two overs, however Scutt’s last 12-ball over (yes that’s twelve)  was a bit of a disaster, yielding 16 runs to give him figures of 1 for 26 from his two overs and leaving Architects on 135  – probably 15-20 runs higher than the wicket suggested.

Mallards reply was led by Kent and Steel, but in a mirror of the Architects innings Kent perished immediately, misjudging the pace of the opening ball to offer up an easy catch.  Steel and No.3 Nitsch set about laying a solid foundation, but with some tight bowling from Architects openers Smith and Harrison both found it difficult to score runs easily. Steel eventually perished for 5 in the 4^th over, finally being caught after being dropped twice.

With the scoring virtually at a standstill,  Mallards lurched to 39 for 4 from 12 overs with Buckley and McCaffery both struggling to find timing on an increasingly two-paced pitch. Following their departures Cox, trying to up the tempo, was well caught on the boundary for a valiant, but short-lived 5.  Meanwhile at the other end Nitsch was content to do his best Chris Tavare impression – although to be fair he was swinging at a fair few only to connect with significantly less, some of which may have been down to one of the umpires not fully understanding the proper way to interpret the wide rule in short-form cricket.

By the 16^th over the score had further limped to 57 for 5 and thoughts had turned to just seeing out the overs. However Architects had other ideas turning to Ivor (already top scorer with 39 –after coming back in from retirement), who immediately removed Nitsch taking his off stump one short of retirement for a marathon 17-over 29, only to then waltz through the tail, clean bowling Scutt and Browne for ducks (not to forget Beacock bagging a duck from Lawson’s bowling to make it 4 ducks for the evening). Only Hunt provided a bit of resistance with a spirited 5 before becoming the final wicket of the night, again bowled by Ivor.

The final reckoning: 71 all out, and Mallards first loss of the season. Well it had to come some time and the margin was not as big as the scores made out. Likewise a very good fielding performance by Mallards, 8 catches out of 10 with the other two very difficult half chances.

As usual the Wellington did us proud with Yorkshires, roast potatoes, chips and gravy (the latter providing a big subject of conversation about the etiquette and geography of its use). So onto next week, can winning ways be re-established?

Mallards confirmed they are becoming North East cricket’s ‘Entertainers’ as they fought out another tense finish in Durham last night.

On a gloomy evening, on a terrible mat pitch and an outfield which appeared to have recently hosted a tractor convention the two teams somehow contrived an excellent game of cricket played in a great spirit.

Mallards skipper Wood won the toss and, concerned about a long batting tail, chose to field first, thereby sentencing his team to bat in the incoming gloom.

At first the gamble appeared to have paid off with Browne getting the side off to another great start, clean bowling Wrede for 0 with his second ball and Dunhill following suit with his second ball to dismiss Wastell to leave Durham at 10-2 from two overs.

However, Durham captain Swift and Lindsey settled things down well and started to move the score along nicely as the fielders struggled with a slippery surface and some terrible bounces on the rutted outfield and after six overs they had recovered to 33-2 before Browne struck again, removing Swift lbw for a fine 23 to finish with 2-29 from his four overs. Dunhill then finished off his very tidy spell with 1-21 from his four as Durham reached 50-3 from eight overs.

Cox and Haylock took up the bowling but with Lindsey and the incoming English playing forcefully chances were very limited and Haylock, in particular took some fierce punishment as the score continued to mount, Lindsey finally retiring on an excellent 33, as the home side reached 80-3 from 12.

English was the next to retire after a hard-hitting 30 and Cox finished his commendable spell with the very tidy figures of 0-19 from four overs as the score mounted to 101-3 from 15.

Last week’s batting hero Wisbach took over from Haylock (3 overs 0-29) and, after conceding a huge six, struck back by having James stumped by the ever alert Beacock.  Taylor took over from Cox at the other end as the Durham batsman started to put their foot down on the accelerator, halted briefly by another stumping from Beacock as Wisbach took his second wicket.

Taylor was unlucky when a very sharp chance narrowly slipped out of Haylock’s clutches at square leg but despite some scrambling fielding, especially from the ever enthusiastic McCaffrey (pictured above), the runs were beginning to pile up and despite a shambolic run out from the last ball Durham managed to reach a hefty 149-6 from their 20 overs, having added 48 in the last five overs.

After struggling to chase 94 to win their previous game, a target of 150 looked a long way off as Steel and Wood took up the challenge for Mallards but with the former in particularly good touch they got off to a rapid start, adding 35 in the first four overs.

With Wood playing hit and run and Steel regularly finding the boundary they continued in the same vein, taking 11 from an over from the useful Pyati, including a massive six from Steel which cleared the boundary by a distance to bring up the 50 partnership. After seven overs they had reached 55-0 with Steel retiring on an excellent 33 to bring Butcher to the crease.

The change of batsman didn’t slow the scoring as the pair chased up every possible run (and many improbable ones) and with Butcher taking over the boundary-hitting role the score continued to mount and they reached the half-way stage on the perfect run-rate score of 75-0.

Butcher was now really finding his form, taking two consecutive fours from the unfortunate Prashant’s over as the score soared to 95-0 from 12 overs.

Durham, however, had one last card up their sleeve and the introduction of Wallace brought immediate dividends as he first bowled Wood off his pads for an all-run 19 and then, after McGuiness got off the mark with a single, immediately skittled Butcher for a fine 24 to bring McCaffrey to the crease.

He immediately joined the party with a boundary and the two Macs continued to run down everything, taking the score up to 114 before McCaffrey was bowled by Langley for a frantic 11 at the end of the 15^th over, leaving Mallards needing 36 from five overs for victory.

Cox joined McGuiness in the hunt for victory but with the light really closing in batting was becoming more difficult with only six coming off the next over despite McGuiness crashing a fine square cut for four.

Seven more runs were squeezed from Langley’s next over to leave Mallards needing 22 from 18 balls for an unlikely victory.

With the pressure mounting Cox responded in style hitting a much-needed six from the returning Prashant’s first ball but a series of dot balls then kept things very tight again as they crept along to 136-3 with two overs left, 14 needed to win.

Mallards’ splendid running between the wickets had kept them in the game but the policy suffered its first casualty when McGuinness was finally left short of the crease, run out for a crucial 13 with Mallards requiring another 13 from 10 balls.

Cox immediately released the pressure with another huge six but Durham fought back again, Langley bowling the promoted Browne for 1. Fortunately, Taylor came in and drove his first ball for two to put Mallards in the driving seat, needing just four from the last over for victory.

Somehow it’s never that simple and Durham skipper Swift’s last throw of the dice was to bring himself on to bowl the last over in the by-now very gloomy conditions, a decision which immediately paid off as, after a single from the first ball he removed Taylor, clean bowled by a full toss.

Beacock entered the fray and, after a wide added to the cause, he scrambled a single to bring the scores level.

With Mallards needing just one run to win from two balls it looked all over but a frantic attempt to steal the winning run was thwarted when Beacock was run out to bring last week’s hero Wisbach to the crease to face the final ball with one run needed for victory.

At Jesmond he managed a leg-bye for victory but this week he couldn’t manage that. Instead, he brought his bat into play and drove handsomely through mid-on for an easy single and a second consecutive last-ball victory for the still unbeaten Mallards who finished on 150-7 with Cox not out on 22.

The newly-resilient Mallards celebrated their victory over the very sporting Durham staff team with a well-deserved pint in the Rose Tree and an unresolved debate as to whether this was the biggest total we’d ever chased down.